It's been nearly three years since I took my "relationship status" off Facebook. In that time, I've mostly spent my time "single", but at times I could've been classified as in a "complicated" state. It's only recently actually that I've been "in a relationship" again. And yet, Facebook doesn't know that... not formally, at least.
What I haven't been so conscious about are "my friends".
I spent far too long yesterday going through my list of 1,000+ friends. Being in Paris, I see very few daily, but I still consider a couple of them close friends. In other words, most are not. There are those friends from childhood who I touch base with every now and again, those friends from high school or college that I like to check up on because I still care about them despite not having talked in a while, and then there are those friends from outside my educational networks--like those I met studying abroad, or while traveling, or through blogging. Honestly, I like (for lack of a better word) having these people as my "friends". I'd be genuinely happy to catch up with any of them. And when one randomly "likes" a post or photo of mine, I like to think they feel the same.
According to Psychology Today, a friend can be defined as:- A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- Someone with whom you share mutual knowledge, esteem, affection, and respect, along with a degree of rendering service to in times of need or crisis.
- Desiring what is best for the other person.
- Being able to express sympathy and empathy and being honest with each other.
But then there are those "friends" who are anything but: the one who was in my freshman seminar and then passed me without recognition on SU's campus a couple years later, the one who I supposed to have met at a party through my ex-boyfriend's family's friend, the one who I did a summer program with at the age of 15 and haven't thought about since. And that's not accounting for the handful of "friends" who I've, oddly enough, never met, nor those I honestly don't like very much (yes, unfortunately there are a couple). We probably became "friends" at a time when crossing paths elicited a friend request.
Yesterday, I began de-friending these people; not as an act of malace but with attention to the art of deletion. Let's face it, if I could care less about Facebook-stalking or sharing timeline updates with these people, there's a very good chance they feel the same way about me. Facebook, however useful to have while abroad, can be quite a ridiculous tool.
Not to mention the fact that there are other ways to connect. Case in point, this blog! Very few readers know this, but I didn't tell any friends or family about this little cyber corner of mine until 6 months or so into it. I wasn't using danielle abroad as a way to keep in touch with those I knew but rather utilizing it as a platform to engage with those I didn't. The same could be said for Twitter, in that sense. Both are public.
And like most other social media users, I tend to not worry about that as much as... perhaps, I should?P.S. While we're on the topic :) though I do encourage you to "like" with discretion, you'll be able to find more photos from my visit to theAu-delà du street-art exhibition at the Musée de la Poste on my Facebook page.
