Community Magazine

One More Try

By Nina
Last night, I read my nightly devotional. It talked about just fighting to "stay in the race," so to speak, referencing Philippians 3:14 "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Honestly, the concept of pressing on toward the prize of heaven is not a concept that motivates me on my worst days - it frequently does more harm than good. However, the idea of just trying one more time does appeal to me, and I thought it might help you out, too.
Consider this: I began this outreach within twelve hours of self-injuring. Typically, I spend at least twenty four hours after self-injury beating myself up for it, feeling guilty, and just generally feeling hopeless. This time, though, I decided to forgive myself and give it one more try. I had made feeble attempts at beginning an outreach via my other blog before, but I always stopped. So, I decided to try one last time to make a difference for myself and for others who struggle with SI. This time, I put my heart and soul into it. This time, I confessed my struggles to people, shared the blog address, and begged them to share it with those in need of it. Now, thanks to really throwing my whole self into recovery and outreach, I haven't thought about injuring myself in at least twenty four hours, and I'm watching my blog views, followers, questions, and comments increase at astounding rates.
None of this would be possible without my putting the blade down and deciding to give recovery one more try. Initially, it was a second by second decision, but now it's stretched into days, and I feel certain that it will continue to improve. Now, I am free. I don't mean that I'll never struggle again, but that I now know how I'll deal with the struggle when it comes. (More on that later, hopefully.)
So, please, give it one more month, one more week, one more day, one more hour, one more second. Please. You never know when "one more time" will catapult you into freedom.

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