On February 1, 2012, American Indian Studies Professor, David Mathieu, received the call that is every parent’s worst nightmare. David’s beloved daughter, Felicity, had suddenly died when her car collided with a semi-truck on an icy, two-lane, highway in rural southern Minnesota. She was only 27 years old.
Like anyone who has lost a loved one like this, David struggled mightily with grief. He wrested with questions such as:
“Should we have done something different that would have avoided this accident? Who was at fault? What did we do wrong? Why did she choose to live in a rural area with dangerous roads? How could this happen? Was she or were we being punished? What was the role of God in this tragedy?”
In the aftermath of this horrific event, David’s long-time study of Lakota spirituality – particularly conversations at the Cheyenne River Reservation in South Dakota with medicine men Sidney Keith and Martin High Bear – took on new significance.
A central facet of Lakota spirituality is the concept of Wakan, translated as “Mystery.” In his book, “Way of Wakan: Reflections on Lakota Spirituality and Grief,” Mathieu explains:
“Wakan is, at its core, an ambiguous, yet very honest, explanation of why we cannot understand a reality we desperately wish we could. Wakan, then, is a spiritual ‘position’ on which to base an understanding of one’s spiritual and physical world as well as the relationship between the two.”
Acknowledging the Mystery of the situation helped David with his initial questions and urge to blame someone or something for his daughter’s death. He elaborates:
“Everyone from the driver of the semi-truck, to inadequate roads in southern Minnesota, to the whole area where she lived, and even to Felicity herself for not paying attention to her driving, not taking precautions, seemingly not caring… Blame has no place when all is Wakan and unknowable.”
What seems uniquely powerful about this reliance on Wakan is the humble recognition that some things are simply unknowable to us humans. To suggest anything otherwise would, in fact, be considered presumptuous. Some things just happen, and desperate as we are to find answers, we can’t really know why. This isn’t just a practical perspective in Lakota spirituality; the lack of knowing itself is deemed Sacred. As David writes:
“The comfort in what is Wakan is that no attempt is made to answer questions that really cannot be answered… Wakan implies the acceptance of not knowing and taking comfort in that lack of knowledge.”
The Lakota people have endured great hardships and have relied on Wakan to be strong. Displaced from the east, this Tribal Nation now exists mostly on the high plains of South Dakota, Nebraska, and eastern Wyoming. Mathieu explains some of their history:
“[The climate they faced made life itself a huge and constant challenge. The extremes of heat and cold, relative barrenness of the land, and distance in a hunting and gathering economy created an often fragile line between life and death… The result is a Lakota worldview where survival cannot be taken for granted… Approaching the idea of Wakan as spiritual insight sounds counterintuitive, but admitting lack of understanding is what permits Lakota the adaptability needed to survive as conditions and situations change.”
Being able to lean on Mystery reflects a method of dealing with adversity often untapped by many people. It reflects an approach-oriented strategy that psychological research suggests generally supports greater resilience in coping with life’s greatest difficulties.
Coping via Mystery also is consistent with research showing that religious and spiritual coping typically is associated with better outcomes after a stressful event. The difference with Wakan is the lack of answers or belief necessary. As David notes, by recognizing the centrality of Mystery, the Lakota highlight how “spirituality does not require certainty.”
The theologian Shelly Rambo describes trauma as the “suffering that remains.” Twelve years after his daughter’s tragic death, David Mathieu still feels this trauma. He still suffers. A wound was opened that fateful day that won’t ever fully heal.
At the same time, David’s reliance on the Lakota understanding of Wakan has helped him to find some peace. The honest appreciation of Mystery is something that may help lighten many people’s loads as we all wrestle with the great unknowns of life.
