The concept of 100% is not new to me. When I was a competitive swimmer, I gave 100%. When I interview for a job or interview a person for an article, I give 100%. When I go to kickboxing class at Equinox, I give 100%. When I laugh, I give 100%.
Some of the highest highs happen when you give 100%. When you let yourself obsess and dive directly into a challenge with nothing but fire, faith, and hope, it is possible to come out the other side flying higher than you pictured.
I always say that swimming was the first thing to truly break my heart. This is the problem with 100%. Sacrificing everything for a goal, or a dream, or a love, is utterly crushing. I can not count the tears or the sadness, but I know my spirit broke.
I believe there are a lot of broken people, because at one point, we all gave 100% to something . To music, to the CFA, to modeling, to a man, to a woman, to family, to baseball, and the list goes on. Life does not allow success in everything and the end result is a little (or big) piece of us breaking.
For me, I forgot what it meant to give 100% in dating someone. I partially blame Los Angeles, whether justified or not, but I went on this dating journey as Cleo, and forgot what it meant to be 100% devoted. I forgot what it meant to not be playing the field, to not be weighing all your options, and to not have four back up plans in case the first falls through. I forgot what it meant to put yourself in the line of fire and be fully dedicated to one person.
If you have a goal of mind-blowing love like I do, how can you expect to achieve it without 100%? No one that wants to be an Olympic swimmer will also play basketball on the side in case it does not work out. There is no backup plan when you are 100%.
I always thought (and still do believe) that the safe and smart thing to do, as a woman in LA, is to have a basket full of man-choices. This alleviates the pain of disappointment, the ease of moving on, and quickness in meeting someone. But safe and smart does not equal great. Great is taking smart risks, challenging your strength, and moving forward.
My new challenge for myself is 100%. I want to give 100% in dating someone, in my job, in petting my cat, and in driving my car. I am going to give 100% because I want a life that is filled with 100% passion. The downsides are the factors I can not control. The, “what if he does not want to give 100%?” factor or “what if it does not work out?” factor. I suppose that all you can do from there is follow your intuition in deciding when to move on and then start a new journey of 100%. <3
All my love,
Cleo
