Diaries Magazine

On Turning 38

By Danikaherrick @danikaherrick

I have gotta say, ten years ago I thought I'd be freaking out and feeling all old and sorry for myself about turning 38.  But it turns out that "getting old" pretty much rocks.    Yes, I have more sag and wrinkles- but I have way more confidence than I did in my twenties.  I am amazed by how much more "I don't give a fuck" I have gained since 35!  And I can't believe I am saying this, but I can't wait until 40.
I can go on here, but in a nut shell I was a shy awkward teenager.  I hated the teen years! I became more outgoing in my 20's, but I was so self conscious- always worried about what others thought, and I was pretty selfish too.  I think the 30's are mellowing me, mostly by having kids.  It becomes more about them, less about you. And I have found my voice, and I am not AS scared to use it these days.
I still have my insecurities, I am still way too sensitive in many ways,
but I am much happier in my skin than I was 10/ 20 years ago.
I am grasping that whole "you only get one spin on this ride called life" thing more everyday,
so I have been trying to enjoy the ride more.    Today is like every other day, except it just happens to be my birthday.   I also share this day with my niece and grandmother,  and I think sharing a birthday is one of the coolest things ever.
 I see this day more as a "New Years Day" kinda thing.  I like to look back and reflect, see what I want to do or change in the next year,  and eat some cake and drink champagne wine or mojitos.
I woke up to coffee and some nice gifts from my husband (a new journal for reflecting and a getaway weekend to "our spot" in a few weeks).  I also got some pretty cool presents from my kids: 38 Handmade cards, a new paint tray ("you like to paint things mom"- yes, yes I do.), "customized" bottle caps and rocks  and some re-gifted toys and markers. Love it!
I am a lucky girl, and I wouldn't trade a thing. 38 is looking good.
xo Danika

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