I have always tried to be the best person I can be. I’m 16, do well in my homeschooling, don’t drink or do drugs. I try to be as respectful as possible to everyone: I consider others, and treat others the way that I would want to be treated. I feel that I can take care of myself and stand up for what I believe in and what I want. Yet all of these things always seem to be overshadowed by the fact that I’m a girl.
When my brother and I were young, we thrived outside. If something was dangerous, like riding dirtbikes (one of our favorite things), count us in. So naturally we hated when our mom gave us more chores that kept us indoors, like loading the dishes and folding the towels.
My dad stuck up for my brother. He said, “He’s a boy. He should be outside with me, not doing women’s work!” My mom tried to stick up for me, too, responding, “You can let her work outside with you, too. Besides he needs a little house care knowledge.”
For about four years we all argued back and forth until my brother and Dad won. My brother was released from his chores and to do this day I do them all while he smirks and makes fun of me.
The double standards have only gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. The rule in our house was always that my brother and I could start dating at 16. My brother has a girlfriend with whom it’s pretty obvious he’s sexually active: he spends the night at her house and even spends entire weekends with her. Even though my parents have never met his girlfriend, they’re fine with the arrangement.
I’m sixteen and am honestly not particularly interested in dating. I do, however, have a lot of male friends, which my dad is not happy about. For example, I recently asked my dad if I could go to a show at a nearby record store with a male friend my parents have both met multiple times. He immediately said no, for no apparent reason. That’s hardly an isolated example: my dad is generally over-protective in a really sexist way. He believes that I’m inherently defenseless and will be taken advantage of by my male friends, that men can’t be trusted around women. Sometimes, though, I wonder if these dangerous men he’s so scared I’ll meet were raised by fathers just like him — fathers who talk about other women in vulgar terms, like my father and brother do, and who tell their wives and daughters that their opinions are stupid.
I’m sick of being limited. The women before us fought for the right to be free and we shouldn’t still live in a society where many women still fear the men around them, even in their own homes. Even if we can’t change these attitudes in our male friends and family members now, I believe we still need to speak out about believing in equality if for no other reason than the hope that future generations of women will live with more enlightened fathers and brothers.
