The big h! Not our daughter, she’s big girl h, let’s not get confused. I’m talking about holidays. If you’ve been with us from the start you’ll know we had a disastrous half term trip up north a few years ago, the trip itself, lovely, but the decision to take the Scenic route home kinda ruined the experience, there’s children, car journeys and a story about poo, check it out if you have a chance and want a laugh,
My sister, who’s amazing and whose in no way slummy blog can be read here. Alerted me that Mark Warner were looking for their 2016 ambassadors . She encouraged me to apply and as part of that I’m required to blog about my ideal holiday. This is a big opportunity, the post I mean, I had planned to write a piece entitled, how not to blog about food, I even made a vegan chilli tonight and took some obligatory from above ingredients shots…. Now I don’t feel bad at all that I’m sat in bed with a child either side, a husband at the base snoring (it’s 8pm) and I’m eating a creme egg, washed down with a glass of coke….it’s a vegan creme egg…. It was laid by a vegan chicken. I digress
Writing about my ideal holiday should be easy, Scott and I play this game every week when we mentally spend our lotto winnings before realising we haven’t won, have no chance of winning and screw up the ticket vowing never to play again. In my mind I’ve built a whole house, complete with pool and treehouse, playroom, library, games room and farmhouse style kitchen. This has taken up a considerable amount of time and brain power and it’s quite nice to progress beyond the house and imagine a holiday.
So, as a perfectionist, nothing will be spared in this imaginary foray, the journey itself will last about three hours, long enough for us to watch some inflight movies (a nice Disney) and for people to compliment us on our well behaved brood, but not so long that we have to resort to I spy a cloud, the chair goes up the chair goes down and/or similar such desperate ‘please don’t let the children scream and get us chucked off the flight’ forms of self sacrificing entertainment.
Bc (before children) we were champions of the city break…. A visit to Rome (obligatory when your husband is a lecturer in Classics) and Amsterdam (obligatory when you’re a new couple and trying to demonstrate that you’re a cool, aloof adventurous and in no way threatened girlfriend). Since children, we have managed a break to see friends in the north, a failed trip to Scotland for Christmas where the, it’s so perfect it’s snowing, went too far and we had to cancel lest we be trapped on the road with a Christmas tree, abnormally large Turkey and another five miles to reach the cottage we hired (it had a hot tub and everything) and a recent long weekend to Peppa Pig world, no hot tub, lots of rain and actually fun had by all.
Children are our main focus now, bet that’s a relief to hear….. We wouldn’t want childcare when away, mainly because that would also require a wet nurse for nergy noo but also because we quite like having them! So entertainment and exploration is the core theme. Not ones to lazy about in the sun we quite fancy a giant tree house holiday with cycle paths, pottery and waterslides… A hot tub for the evening might help soothe some past hurts. Any holiday has to be combined with the teaching calendar so we haven’t actually been abroad since our hen and stag dos…. Woe be us. Lots of all inclusive food because holiday calories never count and because I’ve lost four stone this year and want to challenge myself to see how long it takes to put it all back on.
We are fairly quiet people, In fact when deciding on peppa pig world I had to remind my other half that a house in the countryside really wouldnt be a holiday as we currently live in a house, in the countryside. The rain of the long weekend meant there were no queues and as introverts not many people either, what a bonus! so an ideal holiday has a shortish flight, a hot tub, lots of active and kid friendly activities, a hot tub, no other people, a hot tub, a tree house, lots of food, a hot tub, a wet nurse and possibly peppa pig (cos we know we can handle her! What do you think Mark Warner? Up to the Macdonald challenge?…..
Did I say I want a hot tub? Or course that is in the imaginary house that Emily build so Im quite happy to forgo that if youd like to supply a lotto ticket instead??? Now you did say you don’t need a replica of our dissertations for this blog post…. But just so you know, I got a first for my dissertation…… And my degree in fact….. Media and Creative Writing degree…… With a combined honours in ‘I’d be a wonderful holiday brand ambassador cos I’m funny and have a beautiful family’ if you’re not swayed…. Here an incentive…… It’s play money….but it’s bribed our way out the playroom and up to the dining table many times….. Only looking at it gives it away!!….. Oh I do have a SLR camera in the study charging…. Next to the passports
