Not Write

 by Ashley Lister
 There are many reasons why I don’t write:
Blogging. Pitching. Jogging. Bitching. Reading stuff that others wrote. Jotting ideas on a Post-It Note. Peer reviewing. Prepping classes. Looking at things whilst wearing glasses. Reviewing books. Composing rhymes. Skimming through the New York Times. Chewing. Chatting. Cleaning. Cooking. Eating. Drinking. Talking. Sleeping. Walking dogs. And feeding cats. Wearing pants. And shirts. And hats. Tweeting. Texting. Armchair surfing. Painting myself blue and dirty-smurfing. Shopping. Driving. Flopping. Skiving. Jumping from a plane to try skydiving. Playing games on the PS3. Eating pies. Drinking tea. Sending mail. Phoning friends. Despising those with Mercedes Benz. Watching movies and TV. Stealing ideas that might work for me. Immersed in fiction round the clock. And moaning I’ve got writer’s block.