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“Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.” ~ Mohandas Gandhi
One of the reasons I started this blog was to shed some light on my struggles with anxiety in hopes that I can help others. I recently have been making some changes in my life to try and deal with my social anxiety.
Something that is unfortunately a big topic right now is bullying, particularly in schools. In grade school all the way to high school, I was bullied. It was mostly with words that caused me to fall into a deep depression and attempt suicide. It also is directly related to my social anxiety. I never had the friend that stood up for me so I dealt with bullies by not saying anything and crying when I go home. I became socially inept in a way since I didn’t have a lot of practice with it.
My social ineptness extended into college where I was determined to be the person I wanted to be. So I went to parties and discovered that alcohol loosened me up (liquid courage). I finally had friends, joined organizations, and was having fun all while developing a budding alcohol problem. It turns out that I have an addiction personality (who knew?!). Luckily, no one was hurt but I damaged some relationships in the process. Now, I don’t drink as much but when I do, I have strict limits (two therapists confirmed that I am not an alcoholic). But, I still have my social ineptness that I have never really dealt with.
This is what I have been doing:
Not sweating the small stuff – I used to sit a group of people and keep my mouth shut for fear that I may say something stupid. Now, who cares? I’m seeing that everyone has that problem if you really stop to look at how people are reacting to a situation. If someone makes fun of me, so what? I laugh right along with them because normally, what they are saying is true!
Loving me – I would look in the mirror most days and just hate on myself for nothing. Recently, I went to the shore and couldn’t care less what people thought of me. I was there to relax, have fun, and show off my abs! When you are okay with you, life gets easier.
Getting out there – I’ve joined meetup.com. I’m getting involved in the alumnae life of my organization. I’m called old friends. I’m joining my local chapter of Toastmaster’s International. These are things I would never have done a year ago.
Life is what you make of it. You are not going to change things complaining while sitting on your couch. I am not going to allow my issues to hinder how I want to live. Even if things aren’t exactly how I want them to be, at least I can say that I tried my best. Wish me luck.
Please let me know if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear from you.
