New Game Show to Debut Locally

Normally, I don't make multiple posts in one day, so this one will be short. However, I could not let this guy go unblogged since he made the whole line in the grocery store wait while he went and got three more items AFTER the cashier already had him rung up.
So without further ado, it's time to play everybody's new favorite game show, Imagine that Gastroinstestinal Malfunction!!!!!!
Today's contestant walked four aisles down to pick up a few extra items, leaving the audience plenty of time to see his initial purchases:

• 12 (count em) tins of sardines
• 1 small bottle of Tabasco sauce
• 2 cans of Hormel chili
• 1 roll of generic paper towels
• 1 canister of Febreze (how perfect is that)

Upon returning from his vacation to the snack aisle, he added these times:

• 1 bag of red hot cheese puffs
• 2 large canisters of Slim Jims (Were they buy one get one, or do you just REALLY love them that much?)

Now picture this guy eating all this at once as soon as he got home (which I'm pretty sure he was going to do, considering his glazed over eyes), and...
Imagine that Gastroinstestinal Malfunction!!!!!!
Thanks for playing, and we will see you next time.