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Never Seen It! Sunday: Troy

Posted on the 15 May 2011 by Cinefilles @cinefilles

You know when you're talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if you've seen their favorite movie and you lie and say you seen "parts of it" because you don't want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do too - and we hate ourselves for it! That's why we're vowing to watch at least one movie we've put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgot about every week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!
Never Seen It! Sunday: TroyPhoto: empiremovies.com
DATE RELEASED: May 14, 2004
WHY NOW?: I was talking to my boyfriend about how I really wanted to see a film like 300 again. You know, a really good, ancient-times war-epic. So, he suggested Troy, which I wasn't sure would actually be so great. For some reason I lumped it in the same category as Gladiator, which I haven't seen yet either thanks to stories of people falling asleep when watching it. But despite the little I actually knew about Troy, I trusted his judgment.
WHY NOT THEN?: I had not yet developed my love for epics. Yes, the Lord of the Rings trilogy (one of my favorite series ever) had only recently come to an end, but I wasn't yet sold on epics. Especially considering most are historical or mythical, areas I know only minimally about.
(Warning: I really knew very little about this film before watching it.)
  • A lot of gold and brown. People, places, structures. No, not just because of the poster, but also because of the golden, tanned, glossy-haired images of the poster boy, Brad Pitt, I'd seen associated with the film countless times.
  • Ruthless, righteous slaying of armies in glorious sweeps.
  • An Orlando Bloom with hints of Legolas, fresh off the LotR role.
  • Not much else. Really.
  • A lot of dusty gold and brown.
  • A lesson in Greek mythology. (And an understanding that the Trojan Horse was not actually a horse.)
  • Ruthless, very egotistical slaying of armies in staggering steps, though nonetheless glorious.
  • An Orlando Bloom with hints of Legolas.
  • Many surprise big-name actors.
  • Beautifully-hyperbolic drama.
  • Fulfilment of my "really good, ancient-times war-epic" craving.
ONE NIGHT-IN STAND OR SECOND DATE POTENTIAL? Definitely one worth checking in with in a few years. One you'll miss, but you'll want to miss so that when you see it again, it's once again fulfilling.

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