I turned on the tv to see if that would have anything on covering it. And I wondered how a plane could fly that low that it hit the tower. Then it happened. The second tower was struck by another plane and I knew we were under attack.
I was on edge wondering if there would be more attacks, I wondered if Utah might be hit or if something worse would take place.
I remember getting updates about the towers collapsing or the pentagon being hit, Afghanistan being bombed and the thousands of celebrations going on over 9/11 across the globe. I havent seen that footage since.
While many celebrated the attacks the rest of us mourned and worried over any new attacks.
The thing that disgusts me most was my reactions. I was not thinking of turning the other cheek, I wanted to kill the people who did this and those that were trying. I joined the Army in December 2001 and chose from a list of job options the infantry or combat arms. I chose the infantry so that I would be trained to kill, equipped to kill and then sent over there and have to kill.
When I see the 9/11 anniversary coverage it reminds me of my blood thirst that day and for years afterward. It disturbs me. I met hate with vengeance and hate. I'm proud to have served but I can't be proud of my motivation to serve.
I remember Richard Gere talking about healing and promoting peace and he was booed for it. So many were also vengeful and hateful.
A good friend I lost a few years back told me since he was little he was blamed for 9/11 and labeled terrorist simply because he was Arab. And his first name was Hussein.
Meaning & HistoryDiminutive of HASAN. Husayn ibn Ali (also commonly transliterated Hussein) was the son ofAli and the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad. His older brother was named Hasan. The massacre of Husayn and his family was a major event in the split between Shiite and Sunni Muslims, which continues to this day. In more recent times this was the name of a king of Jordan (1935-1999). Source From http://www.behindthename.com/name/husaynThe name has deep symbolic meaning for many, many people. It is not a tie in to Sadam Hussein.Blaming billions of people for the actions of a very few makes no sense to me unless there is a need to simplify the big bad world so it's more palpable and understandable. So I get it but it's still upsetting.And then 9/11 always reminds me of my military service short lived as it was. Several of the guys I served with did not come home.But I did because of my mental health issues. It doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel fair that I lived on and watched my kids grow up, got married to an amazing woman and they died when the were still kids, teenagers still.It's called survivors guilt and it is pretty bad for me. I feel like even if I don't like the war, my place was with my brothers in arms not back home. I know they were in good company but I feel like my job was to be with them and that if I had been there maybe they would have come back.Even though I know it's not true I still feel like their deaths were my fault for not having their back like I was supposed to.To me 9/11 is a point in time where there is a before 9/11 and after 9/11.It still has an impact on current national and international events and news. But I can only speak to how it affected me and those close to me.
