I really want to sign your social petitions to stop Whole Foods from selling chemical free koala meat and to keep guns out of the hands of aborted fetuses in Texas and to help remove the word “artisan" from Merriam-Webster’s 2014 dictionaries.
But, the spam. Oh, the spam. I’d rather eat 3 cans of actual SPAM than walk through the unsubscribe processes to keep y’all from bugging me while I sit here watching Kathie Lee & Hoda.
I’m a very important and very busy nosepicker! My time is as priceless as seahorse urine. So maybe you could put all the causes into one petition that sends all ensuing spam to all my ex boyfriends from college with no trace back to me? That, dear plumpkins, I would sign.
