Books Magazine

My Ship Has Come In!

By T.v. Locicero

This morning I was in bed more or less minding my own business, and I decided to do what I often do under such circumstances: read my email on my very smart little mobile. The first new one was from someone I don’t know, a fellow named Waziri Ahmed, and in the subject line I read, “Kindly get back to me……”

Now, perhaps like many of you, I often get messages from people I don’t know. Usually they’re from Africa, and usually they want to make me a rich man. Most of these messages are so farfetched and absurd, that I’ve taken to deleting without opening them.

A few years back when I started receiving these messages, I would open, read and reply with a nasty line about how I was forwarding this note to Interpol. But that seemed to result only in more such emails. Apparently any kind of response, even just opening the message, was seen as wildly encouraging.

So why did I open this new note from Waziri? I have no idea. Maybe because I was in a good mood, lolling in a kind of happy haze. But soon I was very glad I did, since my new friend Waziri made my day, my week and most probably my year.

In fact, I’m so pleased that I cannot keep this wonderful message to myself. I must share it with you. But first I have a caution: Please do not read this message from Waziri if you can’t keep a secret.

As you’ll note, about his extraordinary story he swears me to secrecy. But I have no compunction about sharing, since I know that all of you who stop here are just as honorable as I am. And I’m sure that goes for all the spam bots who visit this site dozens of times a week. So without further ado, here’s Waziri:

Dear Friend

A lot of people believe that email like these turn out to be scam, even myself always delete mails like these. but i want you to know that i have no other means to reach you apart from writing you an email.

Am Waziri Ahmed and i use to work with a security deposit firm in Libya, where they keep valuables like gold and diamonds. 2 years ago a woman came to our office then and told me she wants to deposit a package with us and she do not want any person apart from me to know the content. i agreed with her and the package was kept under a code name because she don’t want any body to know her as the owner. but she told only me in secret that the package contains cash of about $12 million dollars.

since then the secret was kept to my self alone and nobody knows even until our company moved out of Libya during the war. But, i now got a new job at a freight company. But, my former company has been disturbing calling and sending emails to me, that i should tell the owner of the package to come forward and remove the package because they are closing up and relocating to Saudi Arabia. i have looked for her even all the phone and email details she gave me are no more working. just 3 days ago i got the news that she is dead, long ago that she died when the NATO forces drop the bomb in Gaddafi house then. i even just found out that she was a cousin to Gaddafi.

well, why am written these email is because i want the both of us to handle these transaction and we share the funds in the package equally. 50% each. i will present you as the owner of the package i have the release code once you tell them the code and other information’s, the package will be released and sent to where ever you want them to send it. they will only confirm from me before they release and if i say yes we are rich. bear in mind that it is not a must that you must appear in person, you do not need to be their, just call and emails with the right codes and full information’s.

they can not release it to me because the know that it is not mine, but they fully knows as well that am the only person on earth that knows the owner and the correct release code. look these is our chance and opportunity to get rich, because if i don’t act fast nobody will ever come for the package. then after waiting for too long it will be dumped in to the sea.

do not have any fear i prefer to do these business with somebody i don’t even know very well because some times your own families and friends will be the once to fail and disappoint you. if you are ready to keep the secret and work with me then i will tell you other things and we move ahead, i promise just 3 days we will receive the package where ever you choose. but do not fail and disappoint me when you receive the package. i will meet with you in person for us to do the sharing.

please if you will work with me and keep the secret please reply me so we can talk more on these issue and act fast, but if you are not interested please delete these email so nobody else can read it.

I wait to hear from you.

Waziri Ahmed.

Now how about that! Waziri is so forthright that he even gave me his phone number, which near as I can figure, comes from somewhere in the United Arab Emirates. So remember, keep the secret!

Otherwise you’ll queer the whole deal, and that beautiful 12 mil Waziri and I are about split will be tossed into the sea.

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