Life Coach Magazine

My No-More-Proud Parents

By Manjumodiyani @HoshiyaarChaddi
I had started this blog with a purpose of making it my diary. But then I couldn't do that for long. Informative posts took the front seat and emotions were put on the back-burner. However, here I am again to add an entry as I try to calm my mind down.
Today, I am infuriated, hurt and feeling left out of the place. Yet I am happy deep inside, for my heart knows my life is on the right track. Thoughts are waiting to come out, trying to find an outlet. And I don't find a better one than my words, waiting to be scribbled as I try to gather myself in my head.
I am not sure if this situation persists in other countries as well. But the Indian ways of parenting has been in the limelight for quite some time and for all the wrong reasons. I was a happy kid in school. And my parents were proud. After less than a decade, the tables have turned. I made choices my parents aren't very proud of. When I say so, I am talking about my career choices. I didn't take the decisions hurriedly. I did so only after I had suffered  for several years the consequences of not following my heart. I am a human too. I have my limits. I have my breaking point. I decided to take charge of my own life when I was tired and weighed down so much so that I was frustrated every single day.
I got my Masters degree last year. I knew the situation would be bad and I won't get the type of job my parents would want me to get. I had already faced enough hardships that I think I didn't deserve to, with my previous job. I didn't want to repeat the mistake and so I worked as a part-time content writer alongside my studies during the MBA, polishing my writing skills and learning new things. I knew it will serve me well one day. Now that I turned out to be right about the economy, I have taken up writing full-time. I might not be making as much money as my relatives who have 'proud parents' do. I am happy now, but my parents aren't because I have deprived them of the opportunity of feeling that pride.
They were proud when I got my first job in a very reputed bank. They were proud when they knew that I am working my ass off trying to understand things that didn't interest me. They were proud that I was living in the big city all by myself, lonely. Now that I am a content writer and a very content person, they are not proud anymore. They are just... parents.
I often snap when they ridicule me indirectly, by telling me about the relatives I don't even know's kids who have acquired jobs in MNCs, moved abroad and are earning a buttload of money. Now that my no-more-proud parents are trying to talk me into getting married, I am reluctant. I don't want to marry the guy they choose, for I know that birds of a feather flock together. What if I end up with a guy who has same ideals as my parents'? What if he has the same criteria for feeling proud as my parents'? I know myself well and that I won't put up with his nonsensical ideals. What if I end up disappointing my 'proud husband'? He won't be proud anymore. He will just be... a husband. A dejected, oblivious, let down husband.
I am not saying my parents aren't good people. They are very good people who want the best for me. All I am trying to say is that what they think is best for me, isn't what I want, isn't what makes me happy. It hurts when I snap back saying “I did what you wanted until now and haven't reached anywhere. It's my life now and I will live it as I please”. It hurts me more when they accuse me of being ungrateful. “We gave you birth”, this stabs my heart like a dagger.
Why do parents fail to understand that their kids didn't ask them to give them birth. They wanted their lives to take a new turn. They might have felt a void and wanted to fill it by bringing home a baby and then dictating his/her life till he/she grew up into a resentful person who would ultimately rob them of the chance of flaunting to the world how proud they were.
Dear unhappy parents and parents-to-be around the world, don't treat your kids as the means to achieve what you couldn't. Don't use your kids as trophy. Don't make your kids feel you did them a favour by bringing them into this world. Just don't.... Else someday you will come across a similar post written by your very own kid....

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