English: This is a picture of a cervix of a lactating woman with no STDs and who has given birth vaginally twice. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
My Cervix Would Not Open -My Cervix Would Not Open
I will never forget the day I went into labor. A gorgeous Saturday had arrived. I was (according to the scan) a week late but to me it was my original due date. I had a sweep a few days before but she hadn’t been successful at all as I ‘wasn’t ready’. I was sat on my birthing ball and I could feel my tummy tightening every now and again. Nothing regular or strong but after a while they became a little stronger and still irregular and very far apart.
I sent the hubby to the shop as I was so fed up and just wanted my baby to arrive soon. He came back with an Indian for tea. I spent the afternoon resting my already tired legs, aching pelvis and sore hip.
By 5pm my tightening came a little stronger and slowly getting closer but still not enough to justify calling anyone or going to the hospital. I was unable to eat my tea and ended up going for a bath. I stayed there for ages but it didn’t ease the pains. The hubby had already been writing down my tightening and he said they were still very irregular and all over the place.
I decided to go to bed and get some rest as I figured this would be a very long night, and having barely slept the night before I knew I could end up very tired with little or no energy. By 1am I was running myself a bath as I just couldn’t get comfortable and just needed to relax. The tightening got worse and even more painful. My hubby came in to find me not breathing through my contractions and had to give me a shake up before I passed out. He sat with me for about 3 hours and timed every one and then wrote it down. They slowly became more regular, stronger and longer. We phoned the hospital at around 5am and they said to come in whenever we were ready if I felt I needed too.
Needless to say I went straight there thinking this was it ‘YAY’. On arrival I could barely stand, I physically put all my weight on my hubby for support through contractions as I just couldn’t stand. The midwife examined me and I nearly shot of the bed. She was horrid to me and harsh. I found out I was only 1cm and she gave me some pain killers and sent me off home. GUTTED isn’t even the word.
I went back home and got straight back into the bath. (I really wanted a water birth and wanted to rely on it for some pain relief for my aching hip and pelvis). After spending an hour in the bath and crying because I was in so much pain the hubby phoned my mom to come. He just couldn’t do it on his own. He came back upstairs and I knew he had been crying. Admittedly now he tells me he just didn’t know what to do for me and felt so useless.
My mom arrived bless her and took charge knowing something wasn’t right. She phoned the labor ward up and told them we were coming and not leaving. They wanted to speak to me but she told them I was in no state and hung up the phone. Between my hubby and my mom they helped me out of the bath and I managed to get dressed.
The car ride to the hospital was the longest ever. My mom got me a wheelchair and I just slumped myself into it. I was greeted by such a lovely midwife. I’ll never forget her as she made me feel welcome and treated me with respect. Although the senior midwife wanted my details while I was having a contraction, the hubby tried to tell her but she told him it must come from me. Guess what I did. I wrote my date of birth in the air using my finger.
My midwife for the day checked me over and I was about 2.5cm. We were told we could be in for a long ride and to be patient and relax. Just at that moment my legs went into complete spasm as I had a contraction. I couldn’t move them and my god it hurt. I told them to push up against my feet and I was given a shot of diamorphine to relax my muscles a bit and had access to the gas and air.
I spent the next few hours going through the contractions and the gas and air helped tons. My hubby and mom said it was a good job we were not paying as I had tons of the stuff. I did at one point lift my hand in front of my face waved it around and told everyone ‘I’ve got 5 fingers’ oh dear I think to myself now thinking back. The midwife popped in and out checking on me and making sure I was ok (good to hear eh). The gas and air end popped of a few times when I was taking a good few puffs and I went into panic mode. Funny afterwards though.
Then as I was laid on my side I made the bed sit up as I pressed against the blooming button. What an ordeal. In between visits I actually heard my baby POP into my pelvis,yes thats right POP. My hubby and mom heard it and I felt fantastic. All my pain had almost gone and I was so relieved.
When the midwife came in to check me she requested that I should be checked. Expecting to be around 4cm at the most I was in astonishment when she said I was 8cm. I was so impressed. She ordered me off the bed and to get on the ball to get my waters to break and move things along.
I suddenly felt the urge to PEE.Oh my goodness, but there is no gas and air in the bathroom. I actually had to time going for a wee in between contractions. We didn’t time very well on my first attempt as I had to run back quickly. After a little while I got onto the bed on all 4’s and felt the urge to push. My mom buzzed for a midwife and she was impressed how well it was going. She said it I had the urge to go for it so I did. I pushed and my waters broke (all over her might I add). She asked me to lay down after a while as she couldn’t see anything happening and wanted to do a quick check.
Horror set in when she told me to stop pushing immediately, but how can you not push when you feel the urge to and I just couldn’t help it. She told me that I was pushing against a small amount of cervix and that if I keep pushing I can make my cervix close up and even cause my baby severe injury. I cried I didn’t want to hurt my baby.
She wanted to set up an epidural to stop me from feeling like I needed to push so I was set up with a canula in my hand. She could tell I wasn’t impressed about possibly being hooked up to that machine. I asked her if there was another way and she said that she could try and slide it over his head with her fingers but it can be painful. I told her to do it. She was brilliant and after sucking on gas and air I was fine, but she told me that I still wasn’t to push for a while if I could help it. About an hour passed and I still felt like I needed to push.
Midwives were talking about taking me for a C-section as my baby could be getting injured from me pushing. I just wanted him out and safely. It didn’t matter how. My midwife came in and told everyone to leave as they were making my panic. She examined me and gave me the fantastic news that I was ready and just to go for it.
Due to the compromises with my cervix I had a senior midwife in with me too just in case and I pushed for what seemed like forever. The senior midwife wanted to give me an episiotomy but my midwife refused although she did pick the scissors up a few times and even gave me the local anaesthetic injection. But looking at those scissors made me push even harder and I finally gave birth at 18:33. I couldn’t believe it.
I was so overwhelmed that he had finally arrived and nobody realised that while I was pushing, I had pushed the canula out of my hand and blood was going everywhere.
My baby boy is so perfect and I can’t believe that it all happened over a year ago and that I would do it all over again. I believe now what mum’s say about doing it again.
This inspirational post was written anonymously by a mom who is a member of my Facebook mums group. I have full permission to share her story. If you can relate to this post and would like to share your own anonymous post please contact me.
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