My Boyfriend Does Not Mind That I Am A Christian
You’re leaving church on Sunday and one of your best sister-friends approaches you. She’s glowing all over. You figure she’s either had an anointed encounter with God during morning worship or….she met a man. (Smile) Since she’s been single for awhile, you figure that it is probably the latter.
Before she gets a word out you ask with a grin, “What’s his name?”
Six months ago she met him at a marketing conference in Atlanta and next week he is flying in to see her. She’s ecstatic. She’s overjoyed. This man is everything she’s ever wanted.
She brags about his career, education, physique and how romantic he is. They’ve been talking on the phone, snap chatting and face timing on a daily basis. She’s driven down to see him twice since their first meeting. “This is love!” she shouts in a high pitch tone.
You take notice that she mentions nothing about his relationship with God. So you follow up with, “Is He a born again Christian?”
She stutters. She stammers. She hesitates as she tries to come up with a spiritual answer.
She replies “Well no, but he does not mind that I am a Christian.”
It is almost the ideal situation. She would prefer that he was equally yoked with her in faith, but at least he will not hinder her walk with God. He was even somewhat impressed by her Bible knowledge.
He’s cool with the fact that she sings in the choir and never misses a Bible study. Plus, he promised that he would come to church with her one day soon.
This is just a fictional illustration, but the reality of this scenario is, well, real. The “He does not mind that I am a Christian” rational is a slippery slope to climb.
I met a man I really liked and he pursued me for several months. I have to confess that it was nice to get that kind of attention.
The hiccup was that he wasn’t into the “church thing”, but didn’t mind that God was a vital part of my life. What he didn’t realize was that when I left church, I didn’t clock out until the next Sunday. My relationship with God was a daily involvement.
I had someone encourage me to go for it. “You can lead him to Christ”, she said. “It worked for me”, she insisted. She was in her sixties at the time and I wanted to ask how many years of marriage she had to wait until “it worked”. But I didn’t want to be disrespectful.
I gave it some thought and after three dates, he was already asking me to compromise my convictions. This was also after he visited my church a few times.
We can only lead a double hearted life for so long. At some point we have to make a decision as to which path we will travel.
Oxen that are unequally tied together cannot work together successfully. Their goal is to plow for farming and carry heavy loads. There is a profitable end if both of them work as one.
The believer and the unbeliever are traveling different paths. They’re aiming at different marks and running toward different finish lines. Their futures are not the same.
Their paths may cross and parallel just long enough to meet and create a soul tie, but the two paths will eventually shift and become worlds apart. It may not look this way today, but in the future, things change.
He may say that he doesn’t care if you’re a Christian, but how he thinks about love and life will naturally contradict God’s perfect will. This is so for all of us before walking in the Spirit of God.
Your choices for your life are Biblical and faith based. The actions and believe system of an unbeliever is based on various other foundations.
Being with him feels good but the path He’s traveling on has not been paved by God. Because the yoke is not even, you will be pulled backward and forward. Things move too quickly and your heart is spinning in circles. You will have to unyoke from one path or the other.
Cutting romantic ties with an unbeliever is the best choice, but not necessarily easy. Depending on how much of yourself you have given to him, it can be devastating to let go. However, letting go of God is a greater loss.
Romantic gestures are a cheap exchange for your place in God. I’ve never heard a woman of faith say that a man did her better than God. Rather when the new love turns old, there is desperation to be restored back to her blessed place in the Lord.
Heartbreak is less inevitable when the desires of you, your man, and God fall in line together. It makes your journey in life a shared one, which manifests perfect harmony, honesty and love without conditions.
There is no pulling or competing for your heart. If you both abide in Christ, Christ will abide in both of you. You will both travel the same path, moving forward hand in hand without the hardship of letting go.
Companion Scripture (I Corinthians 6:14-18)
What are your thoughts? If commitment to Christ is not the same, can two live happily ever after as one?
~Candra Evans
