In the last week we have had big steps forward:
1. Eating fish and chips (real, honest to God takeaway fish and chips).
2. Eating spare pork ribs.
Both of these meals were voluntary and she was happy to eat them.
3. Had a friend to stay over all weekend.
Great steps in the forward direction and she was/is really proud of herself. She feels like she is normal or at least emulating normal.
But the problem with mental health illnesses is that in a couple of weeks they turn you around and you find yourself struggling. Feeling like the gains you have made are worth little or nothing. Anxiety is full force with paranoia, flat mood and feeling very fragile. But pin pointing the trigger is impossible – she just is.
Mental health illnesses are like that themselves anyway. Even well into recovery or remission you get days where you are fragile. When the world seems flat, wrong and you are just all wrong. These are the days to be gentle with you. Take extra care of you. Remind yourself that these low feelings won’t last forever, they will lift. View it as a phase not as a permanent down fall. Don’t feel bad about feeling bad. Don’t put yourself down or call yourself a failure. Let the phase flow through, care for yourself and you do come out the other side. If you find you are not, or find you need extra support then enlist a friend, family member, or support team professional. There is no need to go through this alone and feel like you have to achieve this by yourself. TLC.
