According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, A Midlife Crisis is defined as:
: a period of emotional turmoil in middle age characterized especially by a strong desire for change
Well damn.
Emotional Turmoil, Desire for Change. Yep. That just about covers it. Almost.
I started this blog when I hit midlife and the kids were just about gone from the nest. I had been Mom, laundress, Uber (but without pay), part-time cook and reservation maker, wiper of tears, hug hander outer, wife, crazy friend, dog mom, daughter etc. You get it. When midlife hits you think wow, is this it? Have my best years just up and gone? What’s next?
Then the kids left and it was Empty Nest time. The hubster and I grew to love out time alone. We had no one to answer to or take care of (except the occasional need for $$ from the childlings) and we loved it! Then about a year into our new life, one of them moved back in. WTH? But we would never turn our backs on either kid. And for the most part it’s like he’s not even here.
But let’s go back to the midlife crisis. When you get there, it’s a feeling of loss. Of what do I do? Who am I? And how many years do I have left? (my grandmother is 99 and still living so I think I may be here awhile.) Mortality sets in the back of your mind.
I’m here to tell you that it’s not the end. It’s not the down curve to death. And guess what? It can very well be the best years of your life! The statistics show that during midlife, the anxiety and depression can be real and dramatic. Lots of folks give up and just live out the rest of their days the best they can. It’s a tough time. But there are things you can do.
Get healthy. Get a therapist. Talk it out with someone and look for inspiration. If your anxiety and depression are getting the better of you and your quality of life, talk to your doctor about medication and/or talk therapy. Start walking, yoga, whatever. Just don’t give up. Talk to your friends. You will be surprised at the amount of people going through similar things. You. Are. Normal.
Find a Hobby or New Career. I tried out real estate sales for a few years, started a blog, took up yoga, Started my own Social Media business and I’m writing a book! I feel like I have come a long way and have found my niche. Go for it! Let it scare you, dare you and kick your ass. You can do it I promise. You just have to start.
Get in with a great group of women! I started a blog/writers group a few years ago then merged with another group. We meet twice a month, sometimes a few of us go out for drinks, Inspire each other and challenge each other. It is awesome! I also recently met up with a new group called ‘Ridiculously Unperfect’. Wow. what a group of great women. There are no judgments, no ‘I hate men’ clubs, just meeting other women where they are and lifting them up to be the best they can be. They hold events with panels of women who are absolute rock stars! So much to learn from others even now. Gotta love it!
You deserve to make midlife a fantastic time in your life and not a crisis. Anxiety and Depression are real. You can’t lie down and give up. Fight it! Kick its ass! And if you see a sister fighting that fight, help. Lift her up. Stand by her.
Mental health is a real thing. I try to make people laugh or chuckle because while it may relieve a bad moment for them, it also does the same for me. Just one of the reasons I created Midlife Margaritas. To help people to laugh a little and forget the bad stuff once in awhile. Do you know how many comedians suffer anxiety and depression? A lot. But they are able to get out there and tell the jokes and make us laugh. (I’m not claiming to be a comedian.)
As someone who suffers from both, I hear you, I see you and I want to be there for you.
Peace Love & Margaritas.
