The hubby and I had dinner out at one of our favorite little dive restaurants. The place where the wings are saucy, the floor is greasy, and beer flows all night. It’s also a place to watch almost any sports game on one of their gazillion tv’s. But on this night, there was a new item on the menu, and it was calling my name! It was similar to a low country boil. It had crab legs, potatoes, corn on the cob, fried jumbo shrimp, and a little steak. A little cup of butter for dunking the crab and what could go wrong? Everything.
The steak was just tossed on top. That was the first red flag. A bit cold but it was ok. So, I went on to crack all my crab legs and dunk them in the butter before eating. Maybe I’m weird but that’s my routine. Only the crab legs and everything else on the plate were soaked in the butter. Which was fine but now my hands were just greasy, and it was making me feel weird. Then it hit me, the butter had garlic in it. Not like a pinch of garlic salt or powder but CHUNKS of whole garlic. It was everywhere. But I love garlic so no biggie. Right? NOPE.
After I finished every piece of crab coated in that garlicky butter sauce, my stomach started swearing at me and it was not a fun conversation. I had so much garlic butter in my system, that I could easily kill 100 vampires within a 10-mile radius, in one fell swoop. Without having to get up from the table.
I couldn’t eat anything else, and no amount of Diet Coke was able to wash this regrettable nastiness from my mouth. So, we left after I used 4,283 of those little wipes to clean the butter grease from my hands. I was desperate to get the taste out of my mouth and Thank God for Krispy Kreme donuts. Hot Glazed and wash it down with a cold glass of milk. But I didn’t think about how the glazed donut, cold milk, and nasty garlic butter garlic sauce would all come together and curdle inside all my organs. About 2 am, I thought, “This is how I go out”.
But I did live to see another day! And I learned a few lessons:
- At 22 I might have been able to handle that meal and drink tequila shots and not be bothered. But at 57 and with no gallbladder, that ship has sunk.
- Buy stock in TUMS.
- I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat crab legs again without feeling nauseous.
- I don’t want to die in a greasy floored restaurant.
- I need to eat at better restaurants.
Live and Learn, Love, Peace, and Margaritas Forever!
