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Mending a Broken Heart, Step 1: Unfollow Him on Social Media

By Brittparsons @brittnparsons

You just broke up with your significant other, ended a casual relationship, or stopped hanging out with that person you've been talking to for 2 months. If it was an amicable split, you probably agreed to remain friends, which we all know probably won’t end well. If I had to guess, I would say that you probably follow each other on social media as well. If you’re going to be friends, you can’t possibly unfollow/unfriend/delete that person, can you? If both parties are truly okay with being friends, sure, remain friends on social media. However, if you are experiencing even the slightest heartache or bitterness, social media will only make it worse.

I was recently the dumpee in a casual relationship. When we finally had “the talk,” it didn’t end the way I had hoped and expected it would. By the end of the conversation, we agreed to be friends. Although I truly do hope to be friends with him in the future, I know for my sake, it isn’t a good idea. I think at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later, I will get over my heartbreak and be able to be friends. In order to really get over someone, though, you need closure. That usually includes time apart. Now, it is usually easy to avoid spending time together, but in today’s digital age, it is not as easy to totally avoid that person you just broke up with.

I was friends with my ex on Facebook and SnapChat. I also followed him on Instagram and Twitter. So, every time I logged on, there was a chance he would show up in my feed. I log into Facebook for my morning updates, *boom*, my ex shared a funny cat video. I scroll through Instagram, *pow*, a photo of my ex riding a bike. I watch the day’s SnapChat stories, *bam*, my ex is at a bar, and there is a hot girl with him. None of the previously mentioned scenarios are good for someone who is experiencing heartache. Being constantly reminded of your ex will not help you get over him or her.

When another relationship ended a couple of years ago, I had a hard time getting over my ex because his roommate and I were good friends, and I saw my ex a lot. My friends always wanted to go to their house because they had a pool and a lot more space for hosting guests. Less than a week after we broke up, I went to the movies with my friends and my ex. Over the next few months, I saw my ex almost once a week. He still flirted with me, and I found out later that people thought we were still dating because of the way we acted when we were together. I had a difficult time moving on from the relationship because I was still with my ex frequently. Once he moved away and I didn’t see him all the time, I was able to heal and move forward. I quickly got to a point where I did not want to be with him anymore, and I think that I needed that space from the start.

It’s the same with social media. Even if you don’t see your ex face-to-face every day, you are still reminded of him/her. When you are recovering from a breakup, you need time away from that person to heal. I decided not to delete my ex on Facebook, because I do genuinely hope that I can someday be friends. I did, however, unfollow him, so that his updates don't show up on my feed. I also unfollowed him on Instagram and Twitter. If you just broke up with someone, seriously consider disconnecting with them on social media. You’ll be able to focus on mending your broken heart, and maybe even reach the coveted “I’m still friends with my ex. No, really, it’s not weird” phase.

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