When I set upon my word for the year, I knew that becoming WHOLE was not going to be easy. In fact, I knew it would take me almost the entire year to get there, and that is okay. Every conscious decision I make is one step closer to where I want to be. So, just how am I doing on this journey and with the conscious decisions I make?
March was a rough month. I would have to give myself a D for failing all but one of the focus areas for the month. This is the busiest time of the year which makes things much more difficult, but that it just an excuse. It makes me wonder just how serious I am about this journey of mine when I fail so miserably.
One of the largest areas of frustration for me is the scale. I have been very good about logging all of my food into My Fitness Pal for a while now, and I stay within my calorie range almost every day. Yet, the number of the scale keeps creeping up every single week. I even went and reduced my daily target to see if perhaps the previous calorie target was too high. Nope. Still creeping up. I honestly do not know what to do at this point in time. It makes me hate the scale. It makes me hate My Fitness Pal. It makes me want to eat all of my hate. I have not done so…for the most part. (I have had my days.)
What makes it worse is the fact that I am retaining water like I have never seen since pregnant with Connor 16 years ago. I can no longer wear my rings because they just do not fit. My legs at the end of the day are bloated beyond belief. I thought it was lack of water, so I have been thoroughly upped my water intake. In fact, drinking 8 glasses of water each day is the only thing I actually did accomplish in March. It has had no impact. We’ve cooked at home almost every day in March and have seriously curtailed eating out as a result. I know my sodium intake is not extremely high. I just don’t get it.
The other area I have completely failed is at exercising. I have been working long hours and the weekends have been brutal with dance competitions. I should be offsetting all of that sitting with movement of some sort. I did move a few times throughout the month, but nowhere near where I should have been. Perhaps exercise would be the missing link in moving the scale and helping my body deflate? I just don’t know.
So, I’m frustrated and upset, bewildered and discouraged. I haven’t given up yet because I have reached the point where I do not like how I look. I detest my puffy hands and legs and miss wearing my rings. I don’t like stepping on the scale. I was thinking I could do this on my own, that I could do this without the need for extreme behavior – detoxes and fad diets – but the water retention has me baffled. So does the scale. I have to keep reminding myself that Rome was not built in a day. This is a journey, and apparently I have hit a speed bump.
How did you do last month?
