Business Magazine

Make Your Life More Random

Posted on the 25 February 2013 by Candacemoody @candacemoody

le_happyaccident

The Chinese character for “happy accident” (Courtesy: about.com)

Here is my new mantra for 2013: Expect nothing. Welcome everything.

I took this from an excellent post by Leo Babauta. Here’s why it’s so powerful for me.  I believe that most of the pain we experience as humans fits into the gap between what we think should happen and what actually happens.  We’re poisoned by expectations, comparison,  and envy.

I want to stop expecting. Stop creating internal timelines that only I am aware of. Stop holding everyone – including me – to an impossible standard of success, of performance, of behavior. I want to let the world unfold in its own time. I worry that I am missing out on some wonderful experiences because I am overscheduled.

The brilliant Lissa Rankin calls this mindset being too “spermy” (motile, struggling, always pushing, always seeking.) The opposite, being open and receptive, she calls “eggy.”  Here are her signs you are pushing too hard:

  1. Your work drains you, rather than fulfilling you.
  2. You feel like you’re pushing uphill and nothing flows.
  3. When you do succeed, you feel like you worked your ass off to make it happen.
  4. You fail to savor your successes along the way, focusing instead on what you have yet to achieve.
  5. You’re more motivated by pleasing other people than by pleasing yourself.
  6. You’ve lost faith in magic.
  7. Your life is fun-deficient.
  8. You’re over-scheduled but underpaid.
  9. Doors keep getting closed in your face.
  10. You never smack your “That Was Easy” button. Ever.

Sound familiar?

The second part of the mantra is “Welcome everything.” Be open. Be ready. Accept what is and ponder it before wishing or pushing it away. Randomize your life.

We tend to get stuck in patterns of behavior that limit our experience to what we know, what we’ve done, and what we expect. What’s comfortable for us is what is familiar to us. This year, I’m going to make sure I have more random experiences. Here are a couple of things I plan to try. As a matter of fact, I’ll start now: when I typed the previous sentence, I accidentally typed: “Here are a couple of thinks I plan to try.” I refuse to believe that it was a typo. So here are my new thinks for 2013:

  • Never sit next to someone I know at an event (thank you, Marilyn Feldstein, for teaching me this.)
  • Randomize who I connect with. At your next event, I plan to start up a conversation with everyone who’s wearing red. Or any criterion of my in the moment choice. But I’ll make the choice random and see what happens.
  • Give away more than I acquire. I want to make room, both physically and spiritually, for more of what I want in my life. To do that, I need to create space. If it doesn’t wildly excite me, move me to tears, or serve a higher good in my life, it goes.
  • Be wide open. I will treat new people I meet as though we are already friends. I will go deeper, faster – cut to the essence of what I think and want to share.

What are the new thinks you’re willing to try?


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • The Watchmen Live At The Danforth Music Hall, Toronto

    Watchmen Live Danforth Music Hall, Toronto

    The Watchmen came to Toronto on Friday night, taking over The Danforth Music Hall and putting on a show to kick-off the weekend. It's been 30 years since The... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Phjoshua
    LIFESTYLE, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Cornstarch Christmas Ornaments

    Cornstarch Christmas Ornaments

    Since we moved to our new house it's pretty hard to find things. Lots of boxes are still packed and at a storage unit. We moved at Christmas last year so I... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Kalamitykelli
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES
  • Silverstein Live At The Opera House, Toronto

    Silverstein Live Opera House, Toronto

    Silverstein rolled into a hometown Toronto show Saturday night at The Opera House and was greeted by a sold-out crowd eagerly waiting to scream back every singl... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Phjoshua
    LIFESTYLE, SELF EXPRESSION
  • The Hedonistic Taster: Troon Vineyard

    Hedonistic Taster: Troon Vineyard

    The Hedonistic Taster Troon Vineyard – Applegate Valley, Oregon by L.M. Archer “Wine should not be regarded simply as a beverage, but as an art of living, a... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   L.m. Archer
    CULTURE, DRINK
  • George Bancroft: What a Star, What a Character!

    George Bancroft: What Star, Character!

    Big, blustery George Bancroft was in his mid-40s when he became a film star, breaking out in 1927 with a linchpin performance as mob boss "Bull Weed" in... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Lady Eve
    ENTERTAINMENT, MOVIES
  • Vegetable Oils: What We Know and What We Don’t

    Vegetable Oils: What Know Don’t

    They're everywhere. Like a crude oil spill in the Gulf, vegetable oils - those slippery, modern elixirs - have seeped their way into all the nooks and crannies... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Dietdoctor
    DIET & WEIGHT, HEALTH, HEALTHY LIVING, MEDICINE
  • Getting to Know the Neighbors

    A few days ago, the doorbell rang. When I asked who was there (the camera view wasn't showing anyone), a high voice asked, "Is Joseph come out play?""Joseph,"... Read more

    The 16 December 2018 by   Sherwoods
    FAMILY, PARENTING

Magazines