Dating Magazine

Loving Your Spouse is Loving Yourself

By Samkitots

Week 11

Charlie’s car broke down. It was HIS car, it had seen him through thick and thin; from his first job interview to his first date and now, he had just moved house where he was going to settle with his family. Charlie got the call from the mechanic, the car was repairable, but the cost was going to drain his savings. Charlie decided to get a new car instead.

Meanwhile Ben had an accident at home and his arm was severely injured. Sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for a report, Ben and his wife were nervous. The doctor explained the extent of the injury and indicative cost of surgery, and subsequent treatment would drain their savings. They decided to go through with it.

Photography by Mutua Matheka

Photography by Mutua Matheka

It is common in our day and age to reduce relationships to being like the first one between Charlie and his car, if the relationship breaks down; we hardly want to put our backs into it to make things work. It’s as though we’re waiting for our spouse to do something, to see if they want it to work then we “do the math” and determine if the relationship is worth it. If not, society dictates that we should dump our spouse and settle for a newer, slicker, fresher model.

Rarely do we treat our marriages/relationships like our hand in the second scenario. It would cost everything to get back on track but you do it anyway. This kind of love has an aspect of cherishing your spouse, just like you would your arm.

Like many, I have fallen victim to giving up on a relationship because it would take too much effort to fix. The time and energy required to invest in the relationship would far surpass the desire to make things right. Also, unlike many, I have been in times where the desire to make things right outweighed the effort.

“Husbands ought to love their [own] wives as their [own] bodies”

Primarily speaking to men, the bible instructs us to love our wives as we love ourselves. Where we realize that we are one flesh and are inseparable, the love that we develop for our wives then starts to teach us to cherish our spouse. The same love and care that you give yourself as a man, needs to be the same love and care you give your wife. … The opposite is true too ladies, cherish your man. It doesn’t matter who does it first, it spurs your spouse to respond accordingly.

So begin to practice cherishing your spouse, give them love care and attention. The way you would to yourself, for your emotional and physical well-being and in other areas.


What task can you run for your spouse today? A foot massage? Back rub? An errand? Call them up and find out what it is and do it. Something that says “…because I cherish you” For each day this week, run the dare, and jot down thoughts on what you learnt.


  • Love Dare – The journey  (
  • Her fears, her prayer - (heartofherthoughts.wordpress)

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