It was tough watching ‘Philomena’. I’d seen the trailers on
TV and it looked like a good film. Judi Dench always gives a first class
performance and I like Steve Coogan’s straight acting style. With the exception of his cringe-worthy
character Alan Partridge, I like Steve Coogan in anything.Life must have passed me by for a while, or
maybe I’d been under a large stone, but I was completely ignorant of Martin
Sixsmith’s book ‘The Lost Child of Philomena Lee’, a true story of an unmarried
pregnant girl forced into the care of nuns in an Irish convent and her baby
taken away and adopted in America.I sat
in the cinema stifling sobs as one horrid deception followed another and I felt
sickened by the behavior of supposedly caring, Christian people.It’s a well-written and superbly acted
film.The content disturbed me immensely
and still does. I can’t bring myself to
read the book. Philomena Lee is one of many to suffer for bringing ‘shame’ on
her intolerant family.Where is the love?
Where is the support?So many lives
broken, family connections lost because a daughter ‘sinned’ and was denied her
child.No forgiveness, either, then?
The TV programme ‘Long Lost Families’ shares many similar
stories.Babies born to single women who
are influenced or pressured by their family to give up their child for
adoption, then spend decades grieving for their ‘lost’ child.And the child, now an adult, searching for
the birth mother, the missing piece of life’s jigsaw.I watch the happy reconciliations and new
beginnings take shape on ‘Long Lost Families’, often through a veil of tears
and I hope that adoptive parents, if still alive, are supportive and included.There’s a feel-good factor in the positive
result of a happy ending which is what ‘Long Lost Families’ concentrates
on.I feel for those who are waiting to
be found, those whose searches for answers reach a dead end and those who
struggle with authorities as they try to find information about who they are.
Imagine spending the first eighteen years of your life in
the care system.Everything about you is
contained in your files and documents compiled by Social Services, or other
responsible authority.Then, at age
eighteen, when you leave the care system and you are legally entitled to take
possession of your files, they are lost.
This is what happened to Lemn Sissay.His files were eventually found and given to
him only two years ago. He turned fifty this year. Lost files for thirty-odd
years?
Last Wednesday I went to see Lemn reading his
autobiographical play, ‘Something Dark’ at the Brewery Arts Centre in Kendal. I’m familiar with his poetry and his life story
so I wasn’t in for the shock that ‘Philomena’ gave me.However, I wasn’t sure what to expect but I
anticipated feeling sorrow and kept tissues to hand.I’m smiling at the thought of it now. Generally
speaking, people go to the theater to experience an entertaining evening and
have a nice time.There was I, prepared
for heart-break, but no, this was Lemn Sissay, full of positive vibes, humour,
a massive smile and I just listened intently to the wit and intelligence he
pours into his story. There was lots of
direct interaction with his audience and at the end he spent time doing Q &
A.
Lemn Sissay, MBE, an inspiration to all.Lost hopes, lost dreams, never.
And not a single tear from me.
She Read As She Cradled
You part of me
Every day your historyEvery tomorrow your destiny
Every growth your mystery
Every mother wants a baby
Like you Every laugh your personality
Every look your clarity
Every word your stability
Every mother wants a baby
Like you Every hiccup a comedy
Every fall a catastrophe
Every worry my worry
Every step you’re beside me
Every sight you’re pure beauty
Every mother wants a baby
Like you Every tear wiped carefully
Every word spoke lovingly
Every meal fed silently
every cloth washed caringly
Every song sung sweetly Every day I whisper quietly
Every mother wants a baby
Like you © Lemn Sissay
Thanks for reading, Pam x
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