At 19 years old I met my partner Craig in a local club. I was smitten by him and he was the first lad that’s ever respected me and loved me. After 3 months I fell pregnant which was a massive shock and I was so unsure about what I wanted but finally me and Craig decided to give the baby a chance.
Telling my parents was so much easier than I expected and we straight away started looking for baby things and Craig and I moved in together. The 12 week scan was perfect and we were so excited to see our baby. The 20 week scan however was the worst day of my life. They found that my baby had no kidneys and no bladder and they were adamant he wouldn’t survive.
I screamed the scanning room down and couldn’t cope that my little boy wasn’t going to survive.
Going home and telling family was horrific and I just went to bed with some sleeping pills and slept for days. I didn’t want to wake up! I had another scan and an amnioticis which confirmed Bradley didn’t have kidney or a bladder and I would have to give birth to him.
I took a pill which made me start labor 3 days later. The labor lasted 26 hours and I was out of if with gas and air. My little bit was born and was so beautiful. He was slightly bruised but perfect.
I loved him so much and wanted to keep him forever.
I had a cremation for Bradley and still have his ashes! It’s not easy losing a baby but it does get easier as time goes on, I never thought I would be ok to be honest I thought about ending it a lot of times.
I’m so glad I kept strong though because I know It sounds awful but life has to go on.
This post is an anonymous guest post*
