As I write this, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to finish my thought in a single blog post. I may have to make this into a series, a) because it’s so GD important and b) I see it come up all the time in my world, but rarely find anyone who has answers. And I want to have this discussion with you.
I am talking about living a happy, fulfilling, pleasured life.
I’m talking about making the most of your days, and having an identity beyond your business (or mother or partner) persona. I’m talking about being rewarded for the effort you put in. Making decisions that are based on intuition instead of rationalization. Being around people who lift you up and make you feel whole. That sounds nice.
Can you say this is true of your life?
When you are creative and passionate and then realize you are also entrepreneurial, you fall fast in love with your business idea. Hot sweaty lusty love.
But just like a new relationship, if you don’t set boundaries you’ll end up getting hurt.
Many of us were taught a wrong idea of, well, everything. Success. Love. Happiness (did that even factor into our “what I want to be when I grow up” plans? Happy.) – of course our parents wanted us to be happy, but many of them weren’t happy either so it’s not like we had great role models.
There is a huge catch 22 when it comes to being a business owner. We crave the freedom of making decisions about what and where and who to work with. But at the same time, we aren’t free at all. We obsessively throw ourselves into our work, often working 2 or 3 times as many hours as our friends with jobs.
We sacrifice sleep and friendships and sex…and sometimes money to do what we do. And that feels worthwhile. Until it doesn’t anymore.
Last week I blogged about being married to your business. Because that’s what it is, really. A long term commitment with periods of highs and lows.
In the high times, sacrificing for your business makes sense. But in the low times you get real honest. Sacrificing sucks. And if you give up too much you won’t have anything left.
I want to live a pleasured life, don’t you?
I’ll be honest, I’m having a hard time with this. I don’t want to work as hard as I do. My whole life lately is tied up in my business – when something goes wrong I feel shamed and depleted. When things are great I feel manic. That is not me living my best life.
I don’t take those feelings for granted. In fact, they’re really useful in my work. They make me a great adviser to our clients because I get it. I understand every phase, emotion and fear a business owner faces because I’ve been there. And I’ve gotten out of it.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t battle it all the time.
Earlier this week I attended one of the most amazing events I’ve been to in a while. SMARTY a women’s networking group where the panel of speakers were Ricki Lake, Regena Thomashauer and Suze Yalof Schwartz. You obviously know Ricki, but Regena (Mama Gena) is a phenomenal teacher of the womanly arts and Suze is a natural born optimist and a true doer of things. The panel, led by Amy Swift Crosby, talked little about their careers and a lot about the importance of best life practices. All of them have had amazing careers but they are in a place now – through various experiences – where they are hyper aware of what fulfills them and what does not.
It’s time that we get really clear on what feels good and make that our driving force in life. [Tweet this]
Owning your business is a vehicle for your desire, not the desire itself. You work to make a living and do something of importance. But if you are living to work you are giving up the precious moments of your life, and no matter how “successful” your business may become, you are not living up to your potential.
Let’s talk about this.
At your very core, what does a pleasured life mean to you?
