Lisa's Bible

I rock gently, hugging a red folder I'd named THE SU (student union) BIBLE in jest.  The humor in the name now gone as I began to thumb its pages more regularly and more dependently every day.  It's reassuring smooth plastic cover feels soothing under my fingers and the self typed Tahoma reminders ease the trepidation surging through.  I wonder if this is how religion was born.
Something goes wrong, something scares you, you lose control for an unfathomable moment.  Or perhaps you just look up at the stars, realize your own mortality and think 'Surely this can't be it.'  So you try and determine a way for your meagre, fleeting existence to mean more that the nothingness now swirling around your mind.  Birthing the tradition, you form stories to explain the unexplainable, to fill the empty crevice ever growing, building walls to keep the darkness from your door.  Stories become either legends or religion, written in folk lore or translated into bibles.  Your attempt at controlling fear by naming the unknown becomes a cult, a religion, a way of life.
Religion is hard to ignore these days.  Even atheists say "For God's Sake."
I try and fathom where my religious beliefs lie.  I went to church.  I loved the stories, from David and Goliath right through to the Last Supper.  I was mesmerised by tales that had outlived their scribes and their original readership by thousands of years.  I still love those tales.  I don't believe in them though.  I think about energy.  How you know when certain people are stood behind you just by the warmth you feel in your shoulder before they reach out to touch you.  I think about the fear people can feel in an empty room, convinced that they are being haunted.  I think about the faith healer who's energy channeling techniques brought more relief than morphine to my dying Grandma.  I think about those moments when I know someone I love is with me when I am totally alone.  I think what I am saying is that I believe in energy, good and bad, and I believe in resonance.  In that sense, I wonder if what I believe in is really a matter of physics.
I sit and ponder for a while.  I'm not really sure.  All I know right now, right this second, is that I believe in this red folder and it's plastic coated pages of common sense.
Thanks for reading,
L x