Letter To My Teenage Self

Firstly, I would just like to let you know, you will get boobs eventually. They won’t be the kind that give you bother when you run, or attract the mesmerised glances of men. But they will fill a bra and you will be proud of them. Now that the number one thing on your teenage mind is out of the way, I would like to give you some advice…
Don’t worry about your body or your face and whether it is good enough for the world. The right people will think you are beautiful, and as you get older, being beautiful will become less and less important to you. You will be more concerned with being happy.
No matter how many times people or the negative voices in your head tell you that you aren't smart, disregard them. Otherwise you will spend the rest of your life trying to prove your intellectual worth at the expense of everything else. You are smart; you just have to find the thing that makes you want to switch on that other part of your brain in the morning. You work best when expressing passionate intelligence. If you want something bad enough and you believe in it, you will capture the stars to get it.
You do think too much and you do over-analyse. But one day that will lead you into a career in which you question everything and that makes you brilliant. Your imagination and thoughts will drive you to want to become a writer. Don’t ignore this part of yourself because you think it is silly or weak. You are more creative and artistic than you think.
When your 6^th form chemistry teacher tells you that you will never become a chemist, ignore him and smile. Not only will you become a chemist, but a biologist, a neuroscientist and a pediatric researcher in the never-ending race for success. When someone tells you that you can’t do something, it makes you awfully determined.
On that note...success does not equal self-worth.
Don’t worry so much about whether people like you, lots of people won’t like you. Some of the time, it is because they have chosen a life in which they judge those around them for the weaknesses in themselves.
Learn to be honest about your feelings. Holding on to them for fear of looking like a hot mess does not make you stronger; it weakens the very core of your soul. In addition, learn to be honest when you can. Learn to say ‘I’m not ok’ and ‘I need your help’ and ‘you make me feel like shit when you treat me this way’ these will become some of the hardest, but most worthwhile words you can learn to speak.
Don’t drink so much. You have trouble keeping your balance when you are sober, why add to your lack of dexterity by cutting down 40% of your vision and cognitive function.
It will take you a long time, but learn to love yourself. You've heard the cliché, but it is the unfortunate truth. You will never be able to love another truly until you do. Sex is not real intimacy; it is a safe zone where you can feel close to someone without getting too close. You can let them near your body, but not into your mind. Open up your mind. It won’t scare the right people; to them you will be a song bird. The others will just keep on walking.
You are going to make some seriously crappy decisions. But you are reflective enough to learn from each and every one of them. I won’t tell you what they are; it is those failings that make you who you are yet to become.
These next ten years will be the best and worst of your life. You will feel lost and scared and happy and sad and alive. This is what your 20’s are all about. You will try out and change careers, try out and change relationships, you will bumble through life until one day you will start to figure it all out. You will start to feel calmer, more sure, more internally settled, more resilient. You will start to discover who you are, what you want and how you want your life to be. You will need less and want more for yourself. You will feel free.
I love you and I’ve got your back little lady. Welcome to the ride of your life.
 XX