Leaders And Members Of The Church

I am more afraid that this people have so much confidence in their leaders that they will not inquire for themselves of God whether they are led by him. I am fearful they settle down in a state of blind self-security, trusting their eternal destiny in the hands of their leaders with a reckless confidence that in itself would thwart the purposes of God in their salvation ... Let every man and woman know, themselves, whether their leaders are walking in the path the Lord dictates, or not. This has been my exhortation continually." ~Brigham Young (JD 9:150)
“We respect and venerate” (the prophet), but “we do not believe that his personal views or utterances are revelations from God.”
~ Elder Charles W. Penrose, Millennial Star, 54:191

“Sometimes traditions, customs, social practices, and personal preferences of individual Church members may, through repeated or common usage be misconstrued as Church procedures or policies. Occasionally, such traditions, customs and practices may even be regarded by some as eternal principles.”
~ Elder Ronald Poelman, 1984 General Conference
Not every utterance or personal view of General Authorities is scripture or revelation but these quotes ring very true for me and hit very close to home these days. 
 Blind obedience, thinking that modesty rhetoric is of God and thinking that when the Church discriminates against the LGBT community it's called "Religious Freedom" but when they are criticized for that discrimination it's called "Persecution" is flawed logic and honestly quite disgusting. And it doesn't fool anyone outside of Utah.
I have disagreements with our current leadership but I do love the Gospel and our members but loving others as Christ loves me is a personal goal that often seems impossible but the more I do the easier it becomes.  And there is much to be gained from LDS doctrine.  But there is much explaining to do with regard to the Priesthood Ban and Polygamy plus Joseph Smith marrying other mens wives(polyandry) but for me I see no reason to throw the baby out with the bathwater.  I like the take on Christ we have, but I just adore studying Christs' teachings and deeds because that is the person I feel we are to emulate rather than the arm of the flesh as we are taught to avoid in scripture.
We have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God as Paul said.  So flawed men and women are all God has ever had to work with, with the exception of Christ.  He does His best and we do ours.
So for as many problems I saw with the recent news conferences and interviews with Church leaders, there is progress and I will trust that the intentions are pure.  I will say an apology for Prop 8 would have gone a long way in healing the rift that was caused and in healing the pain resulting from it.  But it seems as though apologies are considered a sign of weakness because it acknowledges mistakes were made.  Because that's the message being sent.
Or if they do those mistakes are forgiven, but we have a herd mentality when it comes to policing our own in regard to bare shoulders, facial hair, or drinking coffee because it's a hot drink so the word of wisdom says you can't but you can totally drink hot chocolate, that doesn't count as a hot drink.
The Dalai Lama is often conflicted between Buddhist doctrine and science but he often errs on the side of science.  How great would it be to consult with sex therapists and psychologists, who are experts in their field, to deal with sexual issues for church members rather than having members be at the mercy of an uneducated lay clergy?  Or caring as much about the welfare of the Earth as we do about who we think created it?  
Let me be clear, I have my criticisms of the Church leaders but I have consideration for them too.  I appreciate the progress has been made with regard to mormonsandgays.com and in the recent push for LGBT nondiscrimination laws. And in the calls for civility in discourse and disagreements on the matter.  I just find it ironic given Prop 8.  But it is progress and we must celebrate every small victory because we never know how many we will get.  I would rather praise baby steps than condemn missteps because I think positive reinforcement is healthier and thus more productive.
But what are we losing as a faith community when gay people marry civilly? I see no erosion of any religious freedoms other than to decry those whose lives are different from our own. You can't discriminate and then cry foul when you are called to the carpet for discriminating.
Elder Oaks, who is married, matter of factly says "It's not uncommon to remain celibate for life."
But the phrase is "Men are that they might have joy." It is not "Men die that they might have joy." I dislike the idea that a spouse awaits you in the eternities if one is faithful. Will it be 72 virgins perhaps? I think trying to ensure that you decide who gets married is wrong but gay people aren't trying to outlaw heterosexual marriage so how are religious liberties in jeopardy?
We don't have to like or agree with everything someone, or an institution, says or does to love them.  But love heals and discontent destroys.  So whatever disagreement we have we ought to remain civil.  We can disagree without being disagreeable as Elder Oaks once said.  Because if one side losses both sides have lost.  This isn't a sport, no one side can win without sinking the other.  We sink or swim together. However we progress, we do it together, friend and foe.  We are taught to love our enemies, not to despise them.
Jesus called a Canaanite woman a dog, He called Pharisees a brood of vipers. But once the Canaanite woman proved her faith, Jesus used His and because of her faith her daughter was healed.  Whereas the Pharisees simply went quiet after having been corrected.  We can correct errors without condemning our opponents.  And that's a lesson for us all I think.