As a superannuated member of the grumpy gray herd, I still read newspapers, those quaintly old-fashioned printed sheets of paper that leave ink smudges on your fingers. I recently read in one daily rag that renovation, decorating and domestic chores can cause tensions in relationships. Really? Who knew? This month, Liam and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary and we decided very early on in our career that the only way to avoid the divorce court was a clear division of labor in the home.
Here’s that newspaper list and how we stay (mostly) harmonious:
- Flat-pack furniture: me. I’m a sucker for an Allen key. It makes me come over all butch.
- Bathroom cleaning: Liam. Getting my hand round an s-bend is an insertion too far.
- Painting and decorating: Liam. I’m no Jack of all trades and he’s handier with a brush.
- Loading the dishwasher: both but I reload it when he’s not looking.
- Clearing out the shed. Jack’s man cave – keep out! It’s where the smut is stashed.
- Laundry: me. I’m happy to rinse through Liam’s knickers. That’s real love for you.
- Putting up a shelf: neither. Get a lesbian in.
- Cleaning the oven: Liam. Life’s way too short to drop to my knees for a cooker.
- And the hardest of all… interior design choices. Have you ever seen two old poofs throw a hissy fit over some scatter cushions in IKEA? It wasn’t us, obviously.
