When life calamities happen, do you ever pretend everything is okay? A friend offers to bring you a warm home cooked meal, and if you’re like me you run to your default answer, “oh no… I’m good!” even through your world may have just collapsed.
Without thinking, do you sometimes just drop the dangerous four letter word? Not the one that got you detention in middle school, the other one. Rather than answering truthfully when someone asks how things are going, you smile and without taking a breath answer, “fine?”
One of the most difficult things about going through trauma is allowing people in. Admitting you could use a little help can feel awkward, especially if you’re more comfortable delivering the warm chicken pie than receiving it.
Adversity can be a lonely place, but doesn’t have to be that way. One of the best ways to feel the love from family and friends is to say yes.
Would you consider allowing a trusted person to:
* watch your children a couple hours?
* help you organize your finances?
* go with you to a funny movie?
* cut the grass?
Seriously, next time someone offers to help you, stop. Take a deep breath, and think about it. Can you imagine a friend taking care of some pesky yard work for you? Or stopping by the grocery store, so you can have a few peaceful moments? Think about saying yes.
Beth Marshall author of A Time to Heal, a grief journal.
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