The ‘new week’ is a Thursday for me so it’s almost the weekend which makes me a bit nervous.
I’m
worried that I will go out and think ‘I lost 9lbs last week so it’s
fine if I eat this 14 Inch pizza’. Let’s see how it pans out..
Thursday
Weigh
day was a huge success. It’s quite daunting for me, because I chose to
live my life in the public eye and to do my journey publicly. It means
there’s extra added pressure to do well. I don’t want to fail for me but
also for everyone else too.
Tonight
my sisters are tucking into pizza and burgers while I quite happily
munch on the coconut and turmeric chicken from Jane plan but one thing I
do miss is bread. It’s only now when I take a step back from my eating
habits that I’ve realised just how different my diet is now - in the
best way!
Friday
Uh
oh. My sisters and I are having a girls night in. This usually involves
copious amounts of alcohol and food. I let my sisters carry on as
normal while I sipped on a Diet Coke and ate a small handful of crisps
instead of my Jane plan snack. I felt like I had the freedom to be part
of the company at the same time as sticking to my plan. I’m proud of
myself for not over indulging when this would have normally been a
trigger for me. 
Saturday Today I’m taking my nana out with the girls to go for lunch. We went to one of our fave places for lunch where I would have normally had macaroni, chips, onion rings and two vodkas with lemonade. I had a chicken & veggie wrap instead. I actually wanted to opt for something healthier. I knew I needed to but I also wanted to and for me that’s a big step. Saturday is my day off but I am sensible throughout the day. I had a Jane plan breakfast, a chicken & veggie wrap for lunch and my cheat meal was in the evening as I’ve mentioned before. Sunday I’ve been up all night being sick and just generally feeling unwell. I didn’t eat in the morning but at lunch attempted half a bowl of Jane plan leek & potato soup. I managed half before I was sick again. I tried the same at dinner but instead opted for cornflakes - I was sick again. At night I felt a bit better so opted to try some oatcakes from Jane plan and some healthy peanut butter. I was able to keep this down until about 3am. Even though I felt crap all day, anything I’ve tried to eat has been on plan and I’m so proud of myself.
Monday Still unwell. Been sick a few times. No breakfast or lunch for me today! Dinner is toast, which I later threw up. I was able to eat the Jane plan dark chocolate bar in the evening and kept it down thankfully. I’ve felt lightheaded and horrible all day. Thankfully it’s getting better. I wish Jane plan did a range of ‘bland’ foods for people who have sensitive stomachs haha I opted for the toast earlier as it was the only ‘plain’ thing I could think of. Amazingly, everything from Jane plan is packed full of flavor but sadly it was working against me while I was unwell. Tuesday I feel so much better today. My sides and stomach hurt, I still feel a bit light headed and sickly but I can eat without being sick!!! I have stuck to Jane plan through the entire day - muesli for breakfast, vegetable and bean soup for lunch which I ate half of (didn’t feel too good), sweet potato curry for dinner (it’s not really a strong curry or anything so it’s not bad for my stomach..) which again I ate half of. I also had the Jane plan popcorn and later had a lemon shortbread from the plan. I’ve not included any fruit or veg today because I’ve been so unwell. I’ve had less than 1000 calories but I just wanted to break it in easily. Wednesday Ahhh this day! I regularly get abuse online - it’s part of the job. I have broad shoulders and anything anyone says about me, I usually think about myself anyway so I can usually just shrug it off. Today on the other hand... Someone sent me a tweet saying: “Well done on on the 9lbs loss. I give it two weeks before you fail and go back to how you were” Normally I would have blocked them and moved forward without thinking about it but this one bothered me. I am really sensitive about not letting people down. I give myself such a hard time, I feel like a failure most of the time so seeing that someone else felt the same way about me really bothered me. I’ve struggled to get it out of my head all day wondering if that’s how everyone sees me - as a failure. If anything it made me more determined and focussed on sticking to my plan. My stomach is still sore but I’m almost back to normal thankfully so eating has been easier today. Today I’ve had: Branberry muesli Tuna pasta salad Chicken casserole Oatcakes Again, I’ve had less than 1000 calories today. I will include more tomorrow but for today, I’m just proud I didn’t go into a downward spiral of self pity. I’m proud of myself. There’s something I didn’t think I’d say. Thursday is weigh day, so I will update the post as soon as I have my new weight. I’m trying not to expect too much and trying to just let this be my new way of life. It’s not easy, but I’m doing it. If I can survive a period week, a stomach bug AND emotional triggers then I can survive anything! All in all an awful week life wise but diet wise, I’m so proud of myself.
UPDATE
I lost 2.2lbs this week! Xx
