Love & Sex Magazine

Jacob and Rachel: Courtship Lessons Learned

By Loveandgrace @loveandgrace20

There are not many line by line rules to dating and courtship in the Bible.  Yet, it is good to study Biblical examples and learn from them.  Today I want to focus on three lessons the lives of Jacob and Rachel can teach Christian singles today.  

In Genesis 29 we find an historical account of Jacob and his desire to make Rachel his wife. 

Jacob’s mother, Rebekah, sent him to her brother Laban’s home in Haran.  When Jacob arrived in the land of the east, he saw off into the distance three flocks of sheep and goats waiting to be watered.

After speaking with some of the Shepherds, Rachel approached with her father’s flock.  The Shepherds introduced her as Laban’s daughter.

Lesson 1: Rachel was a Shepherd.  We can’t put living on hold until after we get married.  Rachel was a single woman who made herself busy and worked to provide for her family. Much like Ruth, on the day she came face to face with her husband-to-be, she was active and working in the will of God.

Jacob kissed Rachel and wept aloud. We can assume that at the first sight of the lovely and beautiful Rachel, Jacob was in love. Yet even more beautiful is the divine move of God in their meeting. At the right place, at the right time, God lead Jacob and Rachel to each other. 

Lesson 2: Singles are often concerned about the when’s, where’s, and how’s of meeting our Jacob. The story of Jacob and Rachel is proof that God has a plan and is well able to carry it out.  It was not by chance that they met at the well that day.  It was destiny.  We don’t have to go off the beaten path to get a man.  God does the work.

Jacob stayed with Laban and Laban offered to pay Jacob for his continued labor.  So what wage did Jacob want for his labor?  He wanted Rachel. 

To our society, that may not sound so romantic. It could appear that Rachel is treated like nothing more than an object to be bought and sold at will. But, we must remember the times and culture back then. Second, it is clear that Jacob loved her very deeply. 

Jacob volunteered to work for seven years to gain Rachel. He did not try to get Rachel’s love for free in an attempt to earn something for nothing. He was willing to do what was necessary to have her. Jacob found Rachel worthy enough to labor for seven years. The Bible says his love was so strong for her that seven years seemed to him but a few days.

Unfortunately Laban tricked Jacob and gave him his older daughter, Leah, instead.  If Jacob wanted Rachel, he would have to work another seven years. So for a total of fourteen years, Jacob labored for Rachel.  He did not walk away when times got hard. He worked until he “earned” her hand in marriage.

Lesson 3:  You are valuable and so is your love. A future husband should be willing to work for his future bride. His heart should not say that I am going to do the least I can to get this woman. Every man’s work may be different than the other. Jacob had his own work to perform in order to earn Rachel. And your future husband has his. But working and earning should be in action.

How has Biblical events transformed the way you live as a Christian single woman? 

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