Photo cred: Amy Hess Photography
I woke up to videos of some of my friends in Fort Drum welcoming their spouses home. After a long 9 months, they've been reunited with their loved ones and can once again resume their lives together. Of course tears fell as I watched these, but not because it reminded me of Z leaving or the long journey ahead of us. But because I am SO happy for these friends of mine and for everyone else who welcomed their spouses home last night.
As a military spouse, it's not unusual to know someone deployed at all times. Whether it's your friend, their spouse, your neighbor, or someone you know through support groups on the internet, if someone asks "do you know anyone deployed right now?" you can almost always say "yes". This time, it just happens to be our turn. My husband is the one that other military spouses will talk about in conversation when someone asks them if they know anyone deployed.
We've only got a few days left together and we've found ourselves in more "tiffs" than normal. It's easier to be angry and push Z away than to be sad and show any signs of fear or weakness. We're giggling and laughing about it 10 minutes later and it's almost become a joke now. But for the most part, we have been taking advantage of every possible second we have together and holding on to the good times and memories we've made.
Photo cred: Amy Hess Photography
He will be leaving in a few days and we won't see him for a few weeks. And then there's a slight chance we will see him sometime next month before he ships out. At first, I thought our goodbye in a few days would be it; a clean break, like a bandaid. But if I have a chance to see him next month, I should take it, right? It may be hard but it may also help the next month pass knowing I will get to see him.
I was pregnant during his last deployment and now, I have two littles ones who need me and will depend on me through it all. I will wake up positive, I will keep them busy, and I will be strong for this household.
Photo cred: Amy Hess Photography
I'm proud to say I've grown a lot since the last deployment. And to be honest, I feel a lot better about this one than I did the last one. Not only because of what he's doing and where he'll be, but I feel that I'm more prepared, educated, and knowledgable about what's going to happen.
At one time, seeing these homecoming videos may have stirred up a wave of jealousy; jealous that these women are ending their journey and mine is just beginning. But I didn't feel any of that at all. I was happy for them and proud of them for all for what they had just accomplished.
And now it's my turn to make myself and everyone else proud too.
