If you are reading this article, chances are that your ex is in a rebound relationship after your breakup. I understand that you must feel shocked, hurt, angry or betrayed, especially when your ex started dating someone new shortly after they ended the relationship. And there must be a lot of questions in your mind right now:
How can my ex jump into a new relationship so fast after breakup? Is my ex in a rebound relationship? How serious is my ex's rebound relationship? How long will this rebound relationship last? Do I still have a chance of getting my ex back?Before I go on to address these questions, let's first take a look at what defines a rebound relationship and the characteristics of a rebound relationship.
So, what is a rebound relationship?
A rebound relationship usually happens immediately after a serious relationship ends. People who get into a rebound relationship right after breakup are not giving themselves enough time to heal properly.
Instead, they are using the rebound relationship to ease the pain they are feeling and to replace someone they have just lost.
Signs That Your Ex Is In A Rebound Relationship
#1 Your Ex Started Dating Shortly After Breakup.You and your ex have just ended a long term serious relationship. A couple of weeks later, your ex started seeing someone whom they just met.
This is an obvious sign that your ex is trying to fill the void after the breakup. Perhaps, your ex is feeling lonely because they are too used to being in a relationship and having someone there for them.
#2 Your Ex Constantly Show Off Their New Found RomanceYour ex would talk to you about how great their new relationship is and how happy they are right now with the new partner, without you even asking about it.
If they have truly moved on and are really in love with this new person, why would they even bother to tell you about it? Wouldn't they want to protect this new relationship from you?
The only logical explanation is that your ex is obviously overcompensating and trying to convince themselves that they are happy in the new relationship.
Another possibility is that they are trying to get a reaction out of you. For example, they want to make you jealous or make you regret breaking up with them.
#3 Your Ex Posts Lots Of Photos Of Them With Their New PartnerYour ex is constantly posting photos of them with the new partner on Facebook or Instagram, especially if your ex was not the type of person who likes to share their private life with everyone on social media.
If that is the case, chances are that your ex is purposely posting these photos because they know that you will see it.
What is their motive for doing this?
To get back at you?
Maybe.
To make you jealous?
Perhaps.
To prove that they can still be happy without you?
Possibly.
The bottom line is that your ex is still not over you yet even though they might appear they have moved on with the new relationship.
#4 Your Ex Is Moving The New Relationship Too FastYour ex is taking the new relationship to the next level too fast and too soon. After only weeks of dating, your ex is already talking about moving in together and taking the new partner to meet their parents.
Moving a relationship this fast is unusual and is not normal by any standard.
When you are really serious about someone and genuinely want to make the new relationship work, you would want to take things slow and avoid making any hasty decision to jeopardize what you have right now.
So, how do we explain your ex's behavior?
The reason why they are acting this way is probably because they are in a rebound relationship.
By moving the relationship fast, they are hoping to feel the same way they were feeling while they were still with you and to reach the same level of intimacy that they used to have with you while you two were still together.
#5 Your Ex's Family And Friends Are Surprised That They Are Dating AgainGenerally, if your ex's friends and family are shocked that your ex started dating again so soon, it means that they are probably on a rebound relationship.
This is because your ex's friends and family know your ex well. They can tell that your ex has not gotten over you yet and is not ready for another relationship. That is why they are surprised by the news that your ex entered into a new relationship with someone else so fast.
#6 Your Ex Is Seeing Someone Incompatible (Or The Complete Opposite Of You)Your ex is seeing someone new. And that someone is completely not suitable for your ex, in your opinion.
You cannot understand why your ex would go for someone whom obviously is not the type your ex would normally be attracted to.
For example, your ex told you that they only like guys who have a goal in life. But, after breakup, she got together with a guy who clearly hasn't figured out what he wants to do with his life.
So, why would they do this?
Probably because in their heart they know it is just a rebound relationship, they are okay with dating someone who is incompatible as long as it can distract them from obsessing over their previous breakup and help them move on.
They might also go for someone who is the complete opposite of you. If this is the case, it only goes to show that you are still a main factor in your ex's decisions.
#7 Your Ex Is Seeing Someone Similar To YouWhen you found out that your ex is dating someone whom is very similar to you in so many ways, I can imagine that shock on your face and the confusion you must be feeling.
Why would your ex leave you and start dating someone who has so much in common with you?
One possible reason is that your ex is on a rebound relationship.
Replacing you with someone whom is very similar to you shows that your ex is trying to replicate what they used to have with you with this new partner and they might be transferring their feelings towards you onto this new person.
Why Your Ex Jump Into A Rebound Relationship
" My ex dumped me a few months ago because he told me he wanted to focus on getting his masters degree and he felt like he didn't have enough time to devote to me. We were together over a year. I was devastated and told him we could work things out but he was really under a lot of stress and so we just ended things. We kept in touch in the beginning but then I decided to go no contact thinking it might help in getting him back. Now I found he is in a relationship with a woman who he met on a vacation. She lives across the country. His friends told me she acts just like me. She likes the same music as me and has all of the same interests as me. They are now in a long distance relationship for a month. He met her about a month after I went no contact with him. My ex has made sure I found out about her through mutual friends. They tell me the only difference between us is that she lives across the country. Could he be on the rebound? Can he mean it? Is she just a rebound and his way of getting over me? I know how much he loved me so I'm in shock I've been replaced so quickly. "
There are a lot of reasons why your ex would get into a rebound relationship after your breakup. Let's take a closer look at each one of them.
To Feel Wanted and AppreciatedBreakups make you feel rejected and unwanted, especially if you are on the receiving end of the breakup. So, jumping into a new relationship not only can give you a boost in self-confidence, but it can also make you feel wanted and worthy again.
That could be why your ex decided to get into a rebound relationship, if you are the one who decided to end the relationship.
There is one unique situation that I would like to highlight here. When your ex is the one who initiated the breakup after they found out that you were cheating on them, it is highly likely that your ex would jump into a rebound relationship shortly after the breakup.
Why?
Because your betrayal and infidelity not only broke their heart, but also hurt their pride and self-esteem.
By getting into a new relationship immediately after breakup, it helps restore their self-esteem and also seek comfort from another person.
To Distract From The Loss & Ease The PainAnother common reason why your ex might want a rebound relationship is because it can distract them from the loss and also help them avoid the pain from the breakup.
A rebound relationship can actually be seen as an attempt to replace you and fill the emptiness left by you. It gives the illusion that everything is back to normal.
However, this is merely delaying the healing process and postponing recovery from the breakup.
To Get Over And Move OnWe always hear people say that the best way to get over someone and move on is to go into a new relationship. Their reasoning is that being with someone else will help you forget about your ex and move on faster.
Is there any truth to it?
Well, getting involved with someone new can take your ex's mind off you and the previous relationship. However, it is just a temporary fix to your ex's problem.
Unless your ex stop running away from the pain and learn to make peace with themselves and you, your ex would not be able to really move on from the previous breakup even though they might be in a relationship with someone else.
Will Your Ex's Rebound Relationship Last?
Whether or not your ex's rebound relationship will fail, it depends on a few factors:
- The emotional availability of your ex
When we talk about emotional availability, it refers to your ex's ability to fully focus on and invest in the new relationship without bringing the emotional baggage from past relationships.
If your ex is not emotionally ready for a new relationship, it is unlikely that they would be able to establish genuine emotional connection with the new person. Without genuine attraction and connection, it is just a matter of time that the relationship would fall apart.
- The new partner realizes that he or she is the rebound
Another factor that determines how long the rebound relationship will last is that whether the new partner would come to the realization that he or she is just a rebound.
If your ex is pulling away when the new partner wants to get intimate or your ex is constantly talking about you with the new partner, your ex's new partner will get the idea that your ex is still not over you and your ex is not ready for a serious relationship.
That is when your ex's new partner would end the rebound relationship because no one likes to be the rebound and being used to just fill the void.
- Your ex wants to start healing and recovery process
Jumping into a rebound relationship can mitigate the hurt, anger and pain of the previous breakup, but it doesn't give the needed time and space for your ex to heal and recover.
Although your ex is with someone new, they know deep down that they are not serious about the new relationship and they are simply using it as a shield.
There will come a time when your ex realize that they need to face the problem instead of running away from it.
What You Should Do In Such Situation
Here, we are going to answer two of the most frequently asked questions regarding rebound relationship.
Do you still have a chance getting back with your ex?
That depends on whether you have patience and whether you are able to control your emotions and follow the get-your-ex-back game plan exactly.
Why is patience so important?
Because getting your ex back does not happen overnight.
You need to manage your expectations realistically. Sending a few text messaging is not going to magically make your ex want to take you back. It takes more than just messaging your ex the right way.
Apart from patience, it is equally important for you to stick to the game plan.
A couple of my coaching clients have come a long way to getting their ex attracted to them again only to screw everything up at the last stage. It is all because they cannot keep their emotions under control and cannot follow the game plan till the end.
So, what exactly should you do when your ex is in a rebound relationship?
First, I need you to be cool and casual about your ex's new relationship. Displaying jealousy or anger is not going to help you in any way.
Let your ex's rebound relationship run its own course. You can use this period of time to focus on yourself and go back to being the same person that your ex fell in love with.
It is easier said than done.
I understand how difficult it is not to get affected by your ex's new relationship, especially if you get to see them together from time to time.
Sometimes, you just cannot help but keep picturing what your ex could be doing with their new lover in your head. And that can really mess up your mind and disrupt your normal life.
So, how to protect yourself from such destructive behavior?
You need to learn to shift your focus. Below are a few useful techniques:
- Distract your mind by trying to do a simple task. For example: Cleaning the fridge, watching funny videos or playing easy computer games
- Avoid asking yourself disempowering questions. Instead, ask yourself empowering questions. For example: instead of asking yourself why this happened to me, you can ask yourself what is good that is coming out of this event.
- Choose some task that requires concentration and thinking. For example: Play Sudoku or work on jigsaw puzzle.
- Go out for a jog or hit the gym for a workout.
