Family Magazine

Is It Selfish Not to Use Contraception?

By Therealsupermum @TheRealSupermum

Is it selfish not to use contraception?


I was talking to one of my Facebook Group Mums and she was wondering if 2012 would bring her another baby. This mom is due her 7th baby any day.  I jokingly advised there is much contraception out there to prevent a baby from appearing each year. This mom disagreed with me as she says no contraception suits her and she believes if she’s meant to become pregnant and have more children that is what is meant to be.


I would love to have this same idea; I would love a larger family too. But …

Can I afford another child?

Can I give yet more of my very limited time and divide it again?

Would it be fair on my other 6 children, to bring another child into our lives?

Do we have the space for another child?

Would I cope with another child?

Would the children suffer if I became ill during pregnancy?

Will my marriage suffer if we have yet another child?

Would I … the list could go on and on.


I believe it selfish to not take precautions to prevent pregnancy. Can you just assume you can have a baby each year with no consequences? You see I did just this.


I had 3 pregnancies one after the other for 3 years, I do not advise others to do this. It did take its toll not only on my body but also on my mental health. My kidneys gave way, stopped functioning, I had placenta’s rupture and come away, I became depressed, the mixed hormones from 3 quick succession pregnancies raging through my body. I was admitted to hospital in the last two pregnancies more than once, needing pain management.


When my eldest three children came to visit me, there I was unable to move from the hospital bed, with tubes coming out of my arms that led to my drip, I was exhausted, dehydrated and drugged on pethedine. I needed regular iron transfusions, was continuously sick. My children were worried, cried for me when they had to stay home while I had to stay in hospital for a week at a time.


I missed being able to run around with the other children, could no longer take them far, stopped going to friends for coffee, could barely move from the sofa most days due to the pain. Kidney pain, the anaemia, the SPD, the exhaustion, the dehydration all  took its toll. My body had taken a bettering and here it was trying to grow yet another baby.

All three babies were born around the 37th week, due to complications. I had put my own children in danger for the selfish reasons of wanting “lots of babies” so close together.


While every pregnancy brings risk, to have them in such quickness leads to even more complications. Yes my babies were planned, yes I thought I was going to cope just fine, the thought of having my babies so close together out shadowed the risk I was putting myself and my babies in.


While I will never regret having my babies close together, I do wish I had taken more time in between each of them.  Had I given myself time to bond with one child before I was pregnant and worrying about the next, may have made my postnatal depression less severe?


While the whole concept of if it’s meant to happen it will is a very nice concept, is it realistic?


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