Lately I have been wondering if dating is a sport and a highly competitive one at that. This is my thoughts on the issue. I will be giving this from a male perspective as the last time I looked I was a male.
Some people are just natural daters, like sportsmen, it is natural for them. It is sometimes about genetics, such as with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie or simply about money such as with Mark Zuckerberg and sometimes it is about something indefinable such as with Ashton Kutcher for whom I have absolutely no understanding why women like him. When I say that to a woman, I get blasted as if he is the best looking man on the planet. He has obviously used hypnotism on the women of earth. Or else as I said, some people are born with a natural talent for dating.
My ex was born with this talent, or so she kept telling me, as she said that she could have any man she wanted, basically telling me that men do not have a choice in this. In many cases she is right, women make all the decisions, but that is a discussion for another day. In this case the romance was doomed as her father had already betrothed her to the son of his friend in some kind of merger. But I digress.
If you are lucky enough, you go through your teenage years training at dating. You learn the moves; how to talk; how to move; how to dress until you are picked from the lineout. You go through your teens, competing with others for the sponsorship or affection of someone until you get to the major competition, the prom! I am still talking about dating.
But even as champion of the little league, you still have to keep the interest alive as you will be constantly plagued by newcomers eager to relinquish you of your prize and claim your prize as their own. Dolly Parton’s song, “Jolene” is all about this sad possibility. In truth, it is misdemeaning to call someone a prize, although some men do want a trophy wife and some people put their significant others on pedestals.
Once you have finished little league, you are now competing with the big players; the people who have learned all the moves. You no longer have the support surrounding that you had at high school where you saw potential all day, everyday. Your options are limited. The way you played in the past will no longer cut it.
You can walk into a bar, scan the room for someone and make your approach. Obviously you did not come up with a Game Theory strategy. if you sit down in front of someone, she may just get up and move elsewhere. Did you ask for permission?
The competition for each potential mark is great. Even if, as a male, you walk into a bar and see a ratio of 4:1, meaning 4 women to each guy. Does that mean that every guy will get a lady? Maybe it is a ladies’ party. Maybe you are at a gay bar. Or maybe you are just not appealing? You cannot take anything for granted.
You need help, someone to setup your bouts. That is where you get internet dating sites, friends or even a match maker. When you realize that you are just not good enough anymore, lost your mojo, you realize you need a coach, a dating coach. This person will lead you through the moves in much the same way that Mickey trained Rocky, until you are once again ready.
This carries on until you meet your match, the big prize, the one person who you will no longer fight against but instead together fight the world. Along the way you get bruised, battered, belittled in the battle zone and you get up for more silently chanting “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Now that you have met your match, you both retire from the sport. Of course many people still observe and some flirt, until someone else comes along to claim your prize and you are forced out of retirement.
Is dating a sport? Hell yes. A highly competitive sport in which many just give up the fight along the way, battered and bruised and out for the count.
