Books Magazine

In The Spotlight - Let Me Hide

By Ashleylister @ashleylister
In The Spotlight - Let Me Hide
I prefer to watch the drama unfold, rather than have a part in it. Some things are impossible to avoid but as far as possible I keep out of the spotlight. I’m not comfortable being the center of attention, even at my own birthday parties.
I remember having a gathering of school friends for my eighth birthday. It was games and a tea party upstairs in whatever pub we lived in at the time. Everything was fine until the cake arrived and my friends sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to me. I burst into tears and clung on to my mother’s skirt. What a softie. Birthday parties were best avoided, that is, until the more senior adult years.
My fiftieth birthday was a milestone worth celebrating as I had pulled through serious illness the year before. It was good to gather the clan and all the friends who had been helping, supporting the family and generally gunning for me. It seems mean to confess that I couldn’t wait to go home to my knitting and clock watched all evening, yet at the same time it was lovely to be amongst the people I care for the most, all together in one place. I’m a strange one.
Even stranger when, ten years later, I’m the one who wanted the party to end all parties, bells, whistles, balloons, a live band and a posh buffet in a posh venue. I got my wish and it was great. I threw myself into it and enjoyed every expensive minute, even the bit where I’ve got the microphone and I’m singing with the band. I cringe at the thought of it now. One of my friends filmed it. Up to now, and its been years, I haven’t seen it, which is just as well as I think I’d die of embarrassment and never go anywhere ever again. No, I hadn’t been drinking, I was simply having fun.
When I was at primary school, I used to feel physically sick with nerves at the thought of maths lessons with Mr Jackson. He would call us individually to the blackboard. I shudder to hear him now, ‘Miss --- to the board!’ I was a skinny, geeky looking girl, and would stand red-faced and trembling at the blackboard feeling everyone’s eyes burning into me and hearing muffled unkind comments. With shaky, clammy hands I would hold the chalk tight and write the sum that Mr Jackson bellowed from the back of the classroom. I would then have to work it out and explain what I was doing, loud enough for everyone to hear. It gave me nightmares. Everyone got a turn, no one was spared, but the whole thing turned me inside out. I was fine with maths and got my sums right, unlike some who were ridiculed for messing up. I got laughed at for needing glasses and my general appearance. Mr Jackson was a great teacher of his generation and in every subject, he liked the class to be interactive and learn through ‘doing’. He always told us there would be plenty of written work to do when we got to senior school, so we didn’t need to do it now. Primary teaching is different these days and children are not thrust into the spotlight quite the same, thank goodness.
We recently lost a great comedian who adored being in the spotlight, Sir Ken Dodd. He was a national treasure and part of my childhood. He was always there when I was a girl, either on television or playing one of Blackpool’s theatres.
I first saw him on stage when I was nine. We hadn’t been living in Blackpool very long. It was our first summer season and my parents received complimentary tickets to various shows and the Tower Circus. My mother took me to see the show Ken Dodd was in and I remember just constantly laughing and being in awe of seeing the Diddy Men in real life. In later years, I was a guest at a summer Midnight Matinee concert where Doddy was topping the bill. I’m not exaggerating when I say daylight was breaking when we left the theater. He loved to be in the spotlight and the spotlight loved him. Thank you for the memories, Sir Ken Dodd. You left me suitably tickled.
One of my poems today, 
 
Don’t put me in the spotlight,
I’m really quiet and shy
Away from all attention,
Any fuss might make me cry.
Don’t put me in the spotlight,
I never know what to say
And to be a nervous wreck
Would simply ruin my day.
Don’t put me in the spotlight
I’m not going near the stage
Nobody needs to see me
Read my poems from the page.
Don’t put me in the spotlight,
Just leave me alone to hide
My feelings, thought and talents
Wrapped safely, tightly, inside.  
PMW 2018   In The Spotlight - Let Me Hide     Thanks for reading, Pam x Email ThisBlogThis!Share to TwitterShare to Facebook

Reactions:


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Indulgeo Essentials Rose Gold Oil Vs TS Cosmetics 24K Gold Elixir

    Indulgeo Essentials Rose Gold Cosmetics Elixir

    | REVIEW COMPARISON Hello my lovely people out there !!! So after a long wait, I am finally sitting down to review and compare the two most famous gold... Read more

    7 hours, 19 minutes ago by   Khadija Beauty
    HAIR & BEAUTY, LIFESTYLE
  • Here We Go Again!

    Here Again!

    Despite a not-so-good garden last year (deer, bunnies, blight, and bugs,) I found myself at it again yesterday, setting out parsley and thyme, kale and... Read more

    13 hours, 1 minute ago by   Vickilane
    CREATIVITY, PHOTOGRAPHY
  • Pain Perdu with Clotted Cream & Berries

    Pain Perdu with Clotted Cream Berries

    I really love simple things . . . time and time again, I am reminded that it is the simple things in life which truly are the best . . . Read more

    16 hours, 1 minute ago by   Mariealicerayner
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES
  • Oscar Wilde - His Part In My Downfall

    Oscar Wilde Part Downfall

    If I've piqued your interest with the title of today's blog then we're off to a promising start. To be earnest with you (which is important, is it not? Read more

    19 hours, 22 minutes ago by   Ashleylister
    BOOKS, CREATIVITY, CULTURE, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Jobs in Sri Lanka – Guide for Work

    Jobs Lanka Guide Work

    Hotel Jobs in Sri Lanka Hotel jobs in Sri Lanka with Dubai City Company. We are now helping to get employment in Sri Lanka. We are now working with several... Read more

    The 21 April 2018 by   Dubai City Company
    CAREER
  • Beautiful Whirlwind

    Beautiful Whirlwind

    It's crazy how so much can change in a week. Last weekend I was busy shoveling two feet of snow during a rare spring blizzard while trying to get acquainted wit... Read more

    The 21 April 2018 by   Hikingwithheather
    OUTDOORS, TREK
  • World Borders: Muslims Only – The Fork in the Road Near Mecca, Saudi Arabia

    World Borders: Muslims Only Fork Road Near Mecca, Saudi Arabia

    This is a world border which is slightly different to those in my normal World Borders series, as whether you enter this border or not depends solely on one... Read more

    The 21 April 2018 by   Jsbdsl
    DESTINATIONS, TRAVEL