I am thinking of changing my Facebook status to: in a relationship. It feels true.
Even before my parents first let me drive off in a teenage boy’s janky car to go to the movies and hold hands, I have dreamed of being “in love.” I am caring, fun, and all the other things so obviously I would make the best girlfriend. Plus, everything I read about Libras says that we are at our best when in relationships.
Despite all this, somehow I have been single most my life. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I do not, and sometimes I can not imagine a different lifestyle.
I have spent a lot of time dating, under all different types of circumstances. You know this, because you read my blog :). In doing so, the goal is to figure out what you want, what you like, and what you can handle.
What good is going on a date with the cocky guy from the bar just because he was creative in how he asked? Or going on a third date with a guy that you felt no sparks for just because he takes you to fun restaurants? Or staying in a relationship that is making you act crazy? Or hooking up with your ex again just because it is comfortable? If you know it is not working or that he is not the guy for you, why do it? (Insert the word girl as needed).
Comfort, distraction, boredom, desperation. None of these colors look good on anyone. Sorry, Demi Moore.
Based on past experience, I know what I want. If you are at the same point as me, acting against that is not doing you any good. You may be sending the wrong message to the world. You may not be ready for what you want.
If you are not at the same point, dating is good. It is important to see what the world has to offer. Personally, dating showed me how many people I am NOT attracted to.
Sure, I still like to flirt and have fun, but I have come to a new conclusion. If I want a good guy one day, I need to act like a good girl.
Reflecting on my college years, I was pretty crazy. I wanted a perfect boyfriend yet found myself making out in the bathroom at parties… or dating my friend’s exes… or getting schwasted… or drunk dialing… or other things I will not put on my blog.
Then once out of college, I was subconsciously trying to distract my unhappiness with my jobs/life onto men. I wanted someone to make me happy because I was not doing well at it.
It makes so much more sense to me now why I was single. The me now would not have dated the me from back then! At least not seriously (I have always been hard to resist completely, *wink*).
Currently I am single, but I have never been happier. I still struggle with the question of, what do I want to be when I grow up? But I know this is normal.
Knowing what I want in a relationship and knowing what I have to offer makes me very happy. I am totally committed and entirely involved with my happiness. In fact, I am so involved that I am not going to let the wrong guy or the myth that being single is lonely screw it up. Patience and I are becoming best friends.
Often people ask me why I am single. I am single because being amazing is hard to match.
Recently a man walked by me and said, “Mmm, he is a lucky guy.” Besides being slightly creeped out, I thought, ” Well, whoever I end up with is going to make me a lucky girl also.”
Thus, I feel like I am in a relationship with myself and am content with the current status of my love life. I still have faith in magic and sparks and good love matches, but am in no hurry. I believe it is better to wait for the right person than be impatient and commit to turn the wrong person. Plus girl time is fun!
Good luck in all that you do.
Luv,
Cleo
