IBAN with a Side of Irritation

 Don’t freak out Mom, I blurred the numbers. Besides, I don’t use this one anyway.

The ‘I’ in IBAN stands for international. I should have learned long ago that the U.S. scorns most international protocol (think Kyoto) and banking is no different. In order to transfer money to my Barclays account there is a very long, annoying process to be gone through at an American bank that includes numerous photocopies of driver’s licenses, the phrase ‘Hold on just a moment while I check with our bank manager,’ and a frustrated me explaining for the millionth time that yes, that really is my account number right there on the friggin front of my bank card and no, I’m really not worried that bank cards look different ‘over there.’

Now to even get to that point I need my IBAN number. This is something of an issue for me as every time a transfer needs to occur somehow I am miraculously without that darn number in any form which means I have to call a bank. *shudder* But not just any bank, a British bank. The process goes something like this: wake up at 6 am so they’re still open in Hackney or wherever the call center is, get online and try to find the right number, Google how to call out of the U.S. (leave me alone, I forget every time. Repeat after me: zero-one-one.), try to call on Skype which doesn’t work because I need a keypad to hit ‘three for more options’, call from landline, it’s the wrong department so I get transferred to international banking, why no, I don’t have an offshore account in the Cayman Islands I just need my IBAN, okay I’ll transfer you back to London, which ATM did you last withdraw money out of?, Um…. London or maybe Eastleigh, you can’t get through our security clearance so let me check with my manager, *bangs head on counter*. So there went 30 minutes of my life when I could have been watching Tracy Butler and Hosea Sanders give Roz-the-weird-traffic-lady the stink eye on ABC-7.

See what I go through for you London?

(Quick tip: If you’re doing transfers go to Citibank. DO NOT use US Bank. They suck arse. Oh, and Barclays has 24/7 support now so you don’t need to wake up early.)