This post is an anonymous guest post*
I remember the day I came out as bi, the first time that is. I was 13. My best friend had just got her first boyfriend and I was heartbroken. So, like an idiot, I decided to tell her how I felt. She seemed okay with it. She said she didn’t feel the same, but agreed we could stay friends. The next day at School was hell.
Other kids stared, whispered. Some shouted abuse, others laughed and pointed. She’d told more or less everyone. No-one would sit with me in class, or at lunch. On the way home I got followed by classmates thinking it was funny to make jokes against me. The next day was no better, or the next week, or the next month. But I ignored it, got a boyfriend and tried to ignore them. Then he got bullied, too. I felt guilty, and when I turned 14 he was 16 and left School, so again I had no-one.
The day it all went wrong was when I was stood outside one day and one of my classmates threw a stone at me, which cut my cheek open. I ran right to the main office and begged them to let me go home. I was so upset they called my Mum, who agreed it would be okay, and the next day I simply refused to go in. After a few days my Mum told the School I was just refusing so they sent a welfare officer round who did little to help, just tried to scare me by saying my Mum could go to prison if I didn’t go to School.
Then she brought me work home, which I did willingly, then suddenly that wasn’t good enough and she offered to let me work in just one room with other students who couldn’t attend their normal classes. I agreed and it went great, until that wasn’t good enough either and they had me going back into class. After putting up with the bullying for a few months I refused to go again, had a huge argument with my Mum and ran away. I spent the night in a local park, and the next day when I went home the School agreed to let me switch to the other side of my year group (we were split into two parts).
It was there I met her. She had scruffy uniform, a shy look on a face and was busy being bullied by some lads calling her an ugly minger. I sat next to her, she smiled and we started talking. We quickly became close friends, and she regularly came to mine after school for tea or sleep over at the weekend. When I turned 15 she fell out with her Mum and my Mum, said she could stay with us for a few days, which turned into a lot longer. During that time I split with my boyfriend and she was there for me. A while later we were watching a film one night and it was a scary part, she jumped and then we were holding hands.
Neither of us said anything but we didn’t pull away either. Then she leaned in closer, I turned to face her and we kissed. It was amazing, and even though I was young I knew how I felt for her. We ended up sleeping together that night, and our relationship continued on in secret for 3 months, until one day I asked her when she was going to come out as bi. She flipped, said she was straight and left. She even changed her number so I had no way of contacting her, she never came to School anymore and each night I cried myself to sleep.
I saw her again when I was 17-engaged to the guy I had been with before. I’ve never cheated, but we did have a moment when we were watching a horror film together. There was a scary part, she jumped and I moved my hand away. Neither of us said anything. Then she leaned in closer, and I pulled away. I do still have feelings for her, but now i’m married with a baby. I love my husband, I’m happy and don’t want to lose my little family. Being bi doesn’t mean your cheap, easy or unfaithful. It just means you have the ability to love more than just one gender.
