Firstly I'm so sorry there was no post yesterday, that's the first day I have missed one. I was simply to unwell to string any kind of sentence together, not even sure I am well enough to now.
I have missed you all and missed me....flare ups take me so far away from my normal self that I almost feel removed from life. Ultimately it is isolating not just physically but mentally because I am not myself.
So today's post will look at all the small positives that we make daily; they are so easy to overlook when were wrapped up in life. We all need to celebrate very now and again.
Getting up, dressed and make up on
For me, part of trying to feel well comes from being upright and clothed, even if I can't stay upright for long. I am struggling with dizzy spells at the moment, so getting showered and dressed is no easy feat.
It takes lots of physical and mental effort to coordinate such a plan; there's balancing in the shower, physically moving into the bath, getting dried, then remembering how to get dressed. My word it's hard work.....but once it's done....oh it's so rewarding. I feel human again.
Although everyone takes getting dressed for granted, imagine how you would feel if you couldn't quite coordinate yourself to do so. So when you do it's a positive affirmation of your own strength.
Making a cup of tea, coffee (cheeky glass of wine)
Who doesn't love a cup of tea I the morning? It's the first thing I do when I wake up. It takes 5 minutes and it's there like a warm hug. However in the midst of a flare up, that 5 minutes is a lot longer.
The other morning I timed myself in order to see how long it took me from the initial thought of having one to actually enjoying it. In total it took me 1 hour and 26 minutes.
I can hear you now, not quite believing that...so I shall explain. The idea of making one was enough to zap my energy. I would have to get up, walk to the kettle, lift it to fill it, wait till it's boiled, prepare the tea and then head back to bed. That's exhausting in itself. It took me 45 minutes to regain enough energy to get up. The walk there was slow and stiff, then there was the lifting of the kettle.
My arms are so sore purely lifting it felt like lifting weights in the gym and I ended up having to use two hands. Finally once it had boiled I ended up forgetting I wanted tea and making a coffee instead....much to my disappointment.
In total it took a long time to make....but what an achievement it was for me. Needless to say I didn't make another for a while.
It's the small victories
I miss working, I miss the team and I miss the structure. So I am having to take the positives that I can achieve instead of focussing on the negatives of missing my life. I still have one.....it's just a lot slower....I now understand the tortoise and the hard story so much more.
