I'm sorry I karate chopped your Grandma but her stroke face was all like "come at me bro"...
— KittyWittyBang (@KittyWittyBang) January 29, 2014
If u see oranges & bananas in the produce section arranged like cock & balls, then I'm in the store somewhere & in need of a high five
— Jason Carney (@JasonCarney31) February 27, 2014
I just heard the iPhone 6 is going to be a dildo-shaped banana phone.
— Jennifer Villamere (@jenvillamere) March 12, 2014
If ur a 55 yr old man with a pony tail, wearing sweats, and buying one single can of Budweiser from a gas station at 9 am, then ur my dad
— Jason Carney (@JasonCarney31) December 15, 2013
This club is awesome...I hope someone tosses a roofie in my drink -me at McDonalds with my kids
— Andy (@dephorix1) February 25, 2014
