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i Couldnt Think of a Title Sorry

By Alka Narula @narulaalka

i was very young when i got married ,a tom boy who knew nothing about relationships nor household chores,an out going ,outspoken girl not a trace of diplomacy got married in to a joint family which was too orthodox, fell like a curse upon me.It was a marriage by choice and me being a girl full of self pride never confided in my family , so i was left alone with strangers who i could not understand nor i had a wave length with any of the family members. I did not know how to deal with my mother in law a typical " sasu ma " who wouldn't stop playing politics , hence the result ,today i stay alone with my daughter ,quite content and happy. Though i haven't seen my mom in law but she has grown quite old now and i have no complaints about the hell she gave me while i was married,nor i complain her support to my x while he was having extra marital affairs .I strongly feel he never deserved a woman like me and i wish i should not have taken that long to dump him and move on.
But when i think of the family politics i feel had i not been too young , i would have been in a better position to handle the situation.I still have not become diplomatic,as there is a saying "people don't change" nor have i but i share each and every thought that crops up my mind,and the situations that i could have handled in a better way if i was i little diplomatic, which has really helped me train my daughter to deal with the world.She may hate a person to the core but never loses her smile. Three years back my niece's marriage was on rocks and the formula of being sugar coated worked for her so well that everything fell in her lap.
No matter what i went through in my marriage but i acknowledge the need for joint family system .Being a sensitive and respectful person i would have really taken care of my in laws when they grew old,we being human beings fight for materials, have traits to get jealous disagree with others point of views and blah blah blah....but in the end we are helpless in front of supreme power.we all came alone empty handed and shall go the same way. being a responsible mother ,certainly i do want to secure my daughter but when it comes to me i hold no desires for materials and same is the case with all of us.I am happy with a pinch of love here  and there and that makes me feel good. my achievements make me proud but the materials i have achieved make me happy as they convey a message i can go peacefully without worrying about my daughter.
if given a chance i would like to leave everything and just write till the end ,of late i have begun to miss my gym ,reduced my work pressure and enjoy writing my blogs , my pleasure is to be heard by people else i feel lost in this world where no one knows no one and each one is lost in the grind of life.

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