Historically, my kids are great eaters. We exclusively breastfeed for the first 8 months which introduces babies to lots of different flavors via my diet.
Snacks are fruits or veggies, they are used to eating things like kombucha, kimchi, raw veggies, hummus, and even sushi from a young age.
They help shop for and prepare food, which gets them excited about eating it.
Most importantly, we don’t have junk in the house and my husband and I eat healthy, as you can’t expect your kids to eat things that they don’t view as “normal”!
But lately, over the past few months, Henry has been fighting back. Really hard.
I know it’s not a food aversion because it happens only at dinner time. He will just flat-out refuse to eat. Regardless of what it is. The only thing we allow him to refuse is creamy soups, as he has literally thrown it up every time he has eaten them…that’s a true aversion!
Refusing to eat is a typical way that children try to gain control because you can’t force food down their throats. They have to choose to eat it, so it often becomes that one area where parents just give up. But we were determined not to!
We insist that our kids eat healthy foods for the same reasons that we insist they sit in carseats, not run into the street, hold our hand in the parking lot, not have free-reign of the cable, etc.
Because it is vital to their health and wellness.
We had tried everything with Henry, or so we thought. Taking away privileges, time-out chair, early to bed, loss of toys, no movies, etc.
Nothing was working and we were at our wit’s end. He has always been compliant and so this rebellion was throwing us off a bit.
But last night, we instituted a new policy: if you don’t want to eat dinner, fine, but it will be your next meal. No other snacks until that food is eaten.
You can imagine how fun breakfast was this morning. I made pancakes, but Henry had to eat last night’s reheated dinner: broccoli-cheese quiche with cinnamon sweet potato cubes….terrible, right?
Meanest mom in the world.
Anyhow, after 2 hours of crying at the table (thankfully we didn’t have anywhere to go this morning), he stopped and took a bite.
Then, he started this conversation:
“Mom, life doesn’t have to be this hard, huh?”
Me “You’re right”
“Wouldn’t it be great if I just ate it all up and then I could go play?”
Me “It would!”
“But I’m just making life harder than it has to be, aren’t I?”
Me “You are. Why do you think you are doing that?”
“Maybe it’s because I just want to be the boss”
Me “I think you’re right”
“Why do you want me to obey?”
Me “So that you will grow to be a good man like daddy who makes good decisions and is wise. Who is disciplined and knows how to do things that you don’t want to because it is the right thing to do.”
“Oh! That’s a good idea. I love you infinity Mom”
Me “I love you infinity too Henry! Now finish your food”
Our conversation continued to include reasons why the kids in our house can’t be the boss. Why mom and dad are the bosses together and always agree together about food and discipline and such. And how one day, he will be a man with his own kids and he will be the boss.
As we speak he is eating…I think we may have had a breakthrough.
If not, it will be dinner for breakfast again tomorrow!
Endurance, consistency, patience, love. I am always learning…
live well. be well.
