Nowadays, it's almost impossible to encounter a person who hasn't split up with someone at some point in their life. Romantic feelings are changeable, and human personalities are complex and diverse. Sometimes relationships don't work out, and it's best to go separate ways.
In many cases, however, former partners decide to get back together, even after multiple breakups. Being in a relationship is not easy, and repairing a bond with the same person after a heartbreak is even harder. Nevertheless, when there's a will, there's a way.
You may be wondering, is it possible to rebuild a relationship after a breakup? The success rate in such cases is never at 100%. However, with effort and commitment, you can give it a go. Here's what you should consider doing if you want to make your relationship work:
Understand Why the Breakup Happened and Why You're Back Together
First things first, you need to ask yourself a question: what was the reason (or reasons) for your breakup? Think about the events that led to it and give yourself a truthful, honest answer. You're more than likely to come up only with negative aspects.
Now, figure out why you're back together. What made you change your mind? It's safe to assume that the positives outweigh the negatives. Now's the time to work towards making it right. It's impossible to erase the past, but it's possible to write your future anew. You decided to give yourselves, as a couple, another chance. Make sure you know what went wrong and focus on your current goal - to create a happy relationship, strong enough to withstand any challenge.
Embrace the Change
In case you're wondering if you can actually reinvent your relationship after the breakup, the answer is: of course you can! Just don't take the same path as before, because it clearly failed to lead you to the happy ending. Keep your mind open and figure out what aspects of your relationship you can improve. Talk to your partner and find out what's their opinion. Don't be afraid to stir things up!
According to experts from OMG Kinky, boredom and routine kill even the best relationships. Consider experimenting in the bedroom to discover new ways you and your partner can enjoy yourselves. Avoid going to the places you used to visit before the breakup. Instead, create new memories in new locations. Go on a short trip together and bond in a new environment, away from your usual surroundings. It's time to rediscover yourselves again as a reunited couple.
Having some uninterrupted, quality time together is essential to starting afresh. Don't focus on the past but eagerly embrace what the present holds and what the future has to offer.
Communicate
To make the relationship work, you need to be able to talk with your partner calmly, respectfully, sincerely, and without judgement. It should be a two-way conversation - while you admit to your wrongdoings and apologize, your significant other should do the same. You both need to take responsibility for your actions that led to the breakup.
Try to forgive each other and don't bring up the past, unless you think there still are some urgent issues that need to be resolved. Talk about your problems as soon as they arise and make sure you're on the same page. Good communication is key to a happy, stable relationship. That's why you should not only speak to your partner but listen to them, too. It's possible to solve your problems without breaking up - focus on repairing your relationship and making it better than before.
Trust Your Gut
So, you're back together after a breakup. We bet your friends and family won't leave that without comment. Maybe they've already put in their two cents? Unsolicited or not, you should take any advice with a grain of salt. After all, you know what happened, and you know your feelings the best; others make their statements based on their third-party perspective.
You should consider listening to what others have to say. They likely want what's best for you, and getting back with your ex may not fit in their point of view. Listen carefully for useful insight and tips - some comments, even negative, may have some truth to them. However, if all you're hearing are unnecessary criticisms, pay them no mind. If you feel that the relationship is worth fighting for, go for it!
Set Boundaries
It's likely that before you got back together, you had the opportunity to discover yourself as an entirely new person. It's truly amazing if you managed to fall in love with yourself! If you've made commitments to yourself, worked on your goals, made new dreams, and fulfilled some plans, don't give up on yourself just because you're not single anymore.
People tend to neglect themselves after they enter a relationship. You've been there before, and it failed. As such, you had to learn to rely on yourself again. Don't focus entirely on your partner because catering to their needs regardless of your own won't do any good. If your significant other has hurt you before, set healthy boundaries to keep your life organized and stay true to your values. Take care of yourself and don't let anyone take advantage of you.
Final Thoughts
Getting back together after a breakup and making the relationship work is not an easy task. You both have to think about the mistakes you've made and ways to improve them, hopefully never to repeat them again.
Work through your issues together and put the past behind you. Have the courage to make new memories and an open mind, ready to come up with any improvements. If you really want the relationship to work, put some effort into it! If you manage to win back the trust of your second half and avoid making the same mistakes, getting that "happily ever after" ending is within your reach. Julia Łysakowska
