Diaries Magazine

How to Help Your Neighbor/Single Mom's Kid Fly a Kite

By Dmroughton
  1. Say "sure thing, sweetie" so when you totally screw it up that she is even more disappointed.
  2. Have the threadlike string break as soon as the kite is in the air.
  3. Chase the kite across a field.
  4. Granny knot the string together.
  5. Have the staple on tail rip off the kite in the first gust of wind.
  6. Tie it back on with another granny knot.
  7. Fly the kite upside down for 12 feet and then fall in the ditch trying to gain momentum.
  8. Have the threadlike string break in a totally different spot.
  9. Yep, you guess it, granny knot it again.
  10. Try flipping the angle of the sticks.
  11. Watch as kite does crazy, drunken monkey spiral dance.
  12. Run for 5 minutes without stopping (make sure you are 40 years old or more for this) and still mange to get the kite only 8 feet off the ground.
  13. Ask your 9 year old son for his sage wisdom.
  14. Totally discount the Johnny Test sounding advice you just got.
  15. Have the thread break three more times, and add 3 more granny knots.
  16. Swallow all the "damnits" and "son-of-a-bitches" that are trying to escape.
  17. Walk little girl back to her house and freak out single mom who is in chair getting her hair pulled through a skull cap by her mom in order to be colored.
  18. Giggle as she shrieks, "No, don't look!"   Bahahahahahhahahahahahaha!
  19. Find out it was only a $1 kite.
  20. Go to store and buy and a new freaking kite.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • The Downside of Being A Writer

    Downside Being Writer

    Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com While there are so many pluses to being a writer—namely that we have the privilege of passionately telling stories throug... Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Steph's Scribe
    BOOKS, ENTERTAINMENT, SELF EXPRESSION
  • The Downside of Being A Writer

    Downside Being Writer

    Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com While there are so many pluses to being a writer—namely that we have the privilege of passionately telling stories throug... Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Steph's Scribe
    BOOKS, DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Sukanya Basu Mallik Author of Shades Of Life #AuthorInterview @SukanyaMallik

    Before we start interacting with Sukanya Basu Mallik I want to share something with all that she shared with me over the email. Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Jaideep Khanduja
    DIARIES, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Fairchild Republic A-10C Thunderbolt II

    Fairchild Republic A-10C Thunderbolt

    @ General William J. Fox Airfield, Lancaster, CA March 2018 This clean-looking Warthog suns its belly at the 2018 Los Angeles County Airshow. Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Htam
    PHOTOGRAPHY, SOCIETY
  • Pineapple Pie

    Pineapple

    How are you all surviving these dog days of summer? I have discovered a sweet that will cool everyone down. Pineapple Pie. You can make it with canned... Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Kalamitykelli
    FOOD & DRINK, RECIPES
  • 10 Reasons To Market Yourself More Than A Great Idea

    Reasons Market Yourself More Than Great Idea

    Too many entrepreneurs I know still believe that that their great idea will carry the startup, and they may even minimize their own value, especially if they... Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Martin Zwilling
    BUSINESS, CAREER
  • Down Memory Lane to A Villa In Coimbatore

    Down Memory Lane Villa Coimbatore

    I was probably five years old when our joint family of 30+ members slowly started dispersing. Marriages, new jobs, job transfers-all the usual things. We lived... Read more

    The 22 July 2018 by   Vidyasury
    DIARIES