How to Be Less Perfect

Do you want to know something kind of embarrassing? Ren (from Even Stevens) used to be my role model. Ignoring the fact that she's not a real person, I was so in awe of how put together, accomplished, and ambitious she was (for an 8th-grader). I hoped to be so perfect. So I was, or I tried to be. I was what Psychology Today called as a "maldaptive perfectionist." In the words of Charlotte Williams, PhD, lead researcher on this study, "These types of perfectionists like to present a flawless image void of imperfections, so they conceal any personal information that may put them in a negative light." I promise it's less dishonest than it sounds.
I simply sought to be conscientiousness with others and adopted high standards for myself. It wasn't really until my first heartbreak that I allowed myself to "just be", wounded and tenacious, utterly imperfect. The experience taught me to accept my feelings as they are and forgive myself for any expectations otherwise. Yet I still find myself struggling with this. I still have trouble not always wanting to do and be better, which often means failing to appreciate the authentic goodness of now. So the other day, when I received the following in my inbox, it was a real godsend. I figured I'd share it since I'm surely not the only one dealing with this... right? No more "supposed tos," OK, Danielle?

You're not supposed to work harder, look better, sleep less, sell more, run faster, talk slower, be happier, stay longer, leave earlier, cook, clean, negotiate, settle, start, stop, move, try, win, shake, rattle or roll.

Other people made all that up.

I love you the way you are,
The Universe
Photo from my trip home, of the Tappen Zee Bridge.