I tried online dating once before and I decided to try it again. I didn't find much luck the first time around, so my expectations aren't set high this time. I figured "What the hell...I'll try it again and worst case scenario I'll have something to blog about." Well, so far, it's the worst case scenario.I can't speak for what women as a whole are doing wrong on Internet dating sites, but I can tell you first hand things guys are doing that are certainly not getting them any closer to getting a girlfriend.
When it comes to profile pictures, find one that you look good in, that is true to what you look like when you go on a date, in which you're wearing a shirt, not making a duck face, standing in front of a mirror holding up your cell phone or wearing a Halloween costume. If you're posting a profile picture with your shirt off, hopefully you're buff enough to warrant not wearing a shirt. But more importantly, it makes me think that a guy doesn't have as much tact as I would want in a boyfriend. Are you leading with your body because it's your best asset? I hope it's not your best asset, because your personality, intelligence or sense of humor are much more attractive. I also think it does you a disservice to use a group photo as your profile picture. Girls looking at your profile aren't going to know which one you are in the picture. And I just don't get the Halloween costume pictures...guys kind of look like idiots on Halloween.
And then there's the first message you send to a woman you're interested in.
"Hey" or "Hey, how are you?" are terrible first messages. Simply sending "hey" or another similar one word message isn't going to get you anywhere because it really isn't a conversation starter. Are you going to go back and forth with that person a bunch of times with one or two words and never really get to know anything about each other? And the "Hey, how are you?" messages bother me because I think "This guy doesn't know anything about me, yet he wants to know how I am?" When sending the first message, creativity will take you a long way. Or at least say a few things about yourself and then ask the woman a few questions about herself based on something she said about herself in her profile.
When it comes to asking questions in your first message, only ask a few and don't just limit your message to questions. I received a message from a guy that was "How are you? What's your favorite color? What kind of dog do you have? What's your favorite kind of food?" and that was it. Those questions really don't warrant any sort of conversation and, as much as I love my dog and love to eat, the answers to those questions aren't really going to get you to know me.
I used to think "winks" were passive aggressive and for people too lazy/insecure to send me an actual message, but this time around I think they are a good way to see if that person is also interested in you without spending the time to write out a message that may go unanswered. If you wink at a woman and she winks back, you go ahead and send her a message.
Persistence is not key when it comes to dating online. If you wink, send a message and IM a woman without any response, she's not interested. Continuing to send her IMs and messages get creepy and annoying. Just move onto the next one that is responding to your communication.
Overall, I think the best thing you can do when trying out Internet dating is also the best thing you can do meeting someone in person: be yourself. If someone doesn't like that or isn't interested, forget them.
xoxo Nickie
Have you encountered any things you think guys are doing wrong on dating websites?
